A friendship

Forgive me not to post in this blog for a while ( I know for a long while)
But today back to blogging, this, is dedicated to a friend. A long lost friend.

I cant agree more with you. We were once so close. So damn close but WERE, is a past tense.
Sadly you do not even realized what had happened.
Heart broken.
Trust broken.
So do our true friendship.

We cant denial.
We can never get back.
We cant denial.
Broken heart could not stick back as well.
Until you realized it,
until you finally get regret on what you did...
Everything is just too late.
TOO LATE.

I have never been so hurt and disappointed for a friend.
When the more heart you give, the more hurt you will get.
But still, I was non-stop trying again and again, trying to get a hear back.
Of course I am saying friendship here.

And here the heart is given and it's broken and so do our friendship, too.
I was not saying who is right or wrong in this.
Everyone got their views.
Maybe you were not wrong at all, in your point of view.
For me, it's just like that.

We can still be friend.
I guess we should.
Perhaps just keep some distance. :)

Officially 3rd Year

It’s been a busy week since the new semester started…Many assignments ahead during this short semester and most importantly feeling stress for thesis 1 even just a registration process…I have to make a very careful and precise decision so I did not make myself in a wrong turn and regret that I could not get out from there. And I hope I did. Made a correct decision.

Life is just too much to get on and until the more I gain, the more I feel lost. And sometimes I think it will be worth for it as this is all my choice. I don’t like to doubt my own judgment and decision. Because once I have made it, I must be sure that I can do it and I will do my best. This is simply me.

And lucky to say, I passed my exam last semester. Considered lucky as I do not put so much hope on it and most of my friends not as lucky as me. I did not passed with flying colors but really with bad grades. Still, I appreciated whatever I got and will try my best to put on more efforts on whatever I do for coming semesters and this last challenging year!

One more thing to update, going to move during end of June, again. The third times that I making move for this 3 years living at KL. Said I don’t like to move my house which bring so much trouble to myself and my friends. But still forced to. Will have my new life soon. Hopefully with my beloved. Am really awaiting for it. ♥

The box

Just feel to evoke something very meaningful and quite true from Dr.Hera—our Biopsychology lecturer.

She said, when the animal fight for their food or kill others animal for food, we will think it is normal. But when comes to human, if we kill somebody because we want something from he/she, we are wrong.

Legally speaking, if you talk to a lawyer, the answer will be: “Because we are human being, we have rules and regulation and so called LAW to restraint our behaviors.” Agree. To certain extend. But as a psychology student, we will tend to argue just between MORAL vs. Justices.

Did not try to argue on this statement, but I was interesting to point out something very important but we always taken for granted—THE MINDSET.

We are quite a very special creature that thinks we are so special and different, especially from other ‘species’, but dint we all are animal for god sake? We think that we are so special just because we had that brain that enable ‘thinking’. But who says and judge that animal did not had a brain to think at all? To certain extend, they think too, and maybe in our world they were so stupid than us, but it might, I mean in their world, the one in front of them (the human) is just a fool. Just because they did not speak, they did not express themselves, we judge them, we put them into category, we did everything and put into a ‘box’, and this is what I called the “Mindset”.

A mindset I want to define here is the box( yes I meant a box, which is small enough to keep yourself inside), that we always want to keep something in ourselves, our life, some principles, some rules, some judgment, anything that we think that is right, and that, is our very magnificent HUMAN MIND.

Interesting didn’t we? We all own a box. Inside the box we know what we kept, it’s either we open it, to let more things to go in, or close it, it is your own choice. But I will say, I would like to borrow the closed box from others, slowly open it and get something from it, didn’t it make life more easy?More interesting?

Grasp yourself a moment. To.think.out.of.the.box.

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题外话之最近生活：
回到来KL一个礼拜就忙足一个礼拜。Assignment，test统统给我杀上门来。想说就算几忙得自己，其实还是会有机会给自己放轻松，但只是很快的，轻松完了，就要马上回到紧绷状态，真的是怕自己的柔韧度没有那么耐。感觉上没有时间发呆，发呆了会愧疚，因为白白浪费了几分钟去放空。压力，每个人都有。只是看你自己到底怎么去应付、与面对。至于未解决，生活还是要过。现在趁年轻，冲吧！

The Anniversary and…

Today  Yesterday was our 3rd Anniversary for Graduation Day since secondary school, meaning to say that I have been graduated for a total 3 years already~!! I missed those days. And my friends too.
I was merely forgot in the morning if not Ah Soong sent me the message (like every year she used to do that~). Thousand appreciate.
I was so sick that had been stressed for few days because rushing for assignment. And this is also the first time I still stay up late when I was so sick and uncomfortable—just to do the assignment. Once again this story telling us not to procrastinate but once and once again we will do the same thing and I-don’t-know-why. Another lesson learnt is that I cant really rely on others to do things and feel so unsecure and nervous without really check it by myself, unless I believe the person so much (perhaps I convince myself to). Without any choice, I can just tell myself for this time: “lesson learnt, be brilliant.”
Not forget to talk about the crazy act that mostly all of us changed our profile picture to the same at Facebook (the one I edit for my beloved friends).  

Quite a lot of us changed our profile picture after we had proposed the idea XD (only 7 can be shown but I swear its more than that~!)

And here is the conversation between us in our special group.
Cant really recognize who and who?That’s every single comment contributed by different people~! =P

给最亲爱的你们：

今天是毕业纪念日。我从没忘记过那时的感动与泪水。

心中依然有你们。而离别，仿佛象是昨日刚发生过的事。
依然守着的五年之约，至今也只剩下731天，
我也只能把剩下的那段时光抱着期待的心情，期待的下一次的相聚。 :)

Suppose to sleep early since did not get much sleep yesterday but still want to play on illustrator. I found myself cant help to stop when come across drawing and design on something. Just want and try to do the best that I can. And below was the rough design on flyers and poster for our coming CCS stage play for next year.

Comments are welcomed~

The script was quite well-written and all the performers are in well-training. Just very excited to be part of it.
So my day so far is just like that. And the sickness continue to strike if I didn’t get enough sleep today. Night world

述说那些年……

想要大声地告诉全世界：“我看了《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》！！！”
半夜战战兢兢抢购的预映戏票，终于昨天看了！
等了我半年……果然刀大没有让自己失望。虽然他只是诚恳地要把这份爱意表达给那位在他心目中无法取代的女孩，但是还是觉得真的是超级无敌的棒！

细说……当年，第一次知道/认识——九把刀。

这是我第一本看九把刀的书，也是我最爱的一本。

真的很喜欢九把刀的作品。这让我更加肯定，自己欣赏一个人，一位歌手，一个演员，一个作家，的确很喜欢那个人的性格，然后打从心里喜欢他们。
无可否认，自己放了很多期待、希望于这部电影。因为真的很喜欢，很喜欢，很喜欢这一本书。可能那时看这本书的时候，觉得很贴近自己，青春时期，那段我一回不去的岁月。但是却打从心里，就算觉得不可能，还是很希望能从电影，感受到或重新体会那年轻的感觉。就像导演坚持要完成自己的梦想一样，就像他要透过电影来找回那十七岁的自己一样。

“青春是一場大雨。即使感冒了，還盼望回頭再淋它一次。”

而错过的那场大雨，我很想有机会再体会一次。

我想如果自己没那么早熟，没有经历过一些事，没有那么理智，我会勇敢，我会疯狂，我会尝试的去狠狠地淋一场大雨，不管有多倾盆。可惜我没有时光机，也没有一个浪漫的男孩为我制造那个独一无二的时光机。
你是浪漫的，柯景腾。

觉得只有男女主角的海报很浪漫，但自己却对这张一班朋友在海边玩完水过后背着蓝天白云的海报情有独钟。

有机会真的很想很想和一大班朋友去海边拍回一些这样的照片。很有FEEL。

戏内、书内都有很多精彩的对白……
“成长，最残酷的部分就是女孩永远比同年龄的男孩成熟，女孩的成熟没有一个男孩能招架得住。”——柯腾
“人生里很多事都是徒劳无功的。”——沈佳宜
“我想要成为一个很厉害的人，我要这世界因为我而变得有一点点的不一样。而我的世界其实也只不过是你的心。”——柯腾
“常常聽到別人說，戀愛最美好的部分救是曖昧的時候，等到真正在一起，很多感覺就會消失不見了。”——沈佳宜

《那些年》是我中学时期看的一本书。它记载的不单单只是纯纯的青春爱情故事。不只是男孩与女孩的故事。它包含了一些属于每一个人不同的记忆，属于自己独特的记忆。我喜欢里面单纯简单的青春爱情故事，那份纯，细腻得让人觉得遥不可及，却那么的刻骨铭心，尽管觉得可惜，却是生命中一丝丝回忆的甜蜜。

我说：如果说每个男孩的心中都有个沈佳宜，那么每个女孩又何尝不希望在生命中有个柯腾呢？

尽管没有电影里般的青春故事，但我却想起那些年，那年少轻狂的我们，一同很热血的做过一些很疯狂却已足够让人回味的事。

疯狂的朋友们，我想念你们了。

想着，一定要回去和你们一同看这部戏，想必感觉一定不一样吧。

Full Moon Night

Finally the “full moon night” had come to an end. The whole month of celebration for mid-autumn considered end too.

Really don’t know what to say besides tired and suffer all along these preparation days. I knew someone really put hard work and even their heart on it. I knew some just like passing by walking around like a child playing sand there. Fortunately, we managed to make it quite a success in a way, and I seriously need to thank friends that helped me a lot along these stress time.

Pictures not really says a thousand words sometimes. But it do captured down the memorable moment. Sometimes thing just very weak to be destroyed, but with photo, at the moment we captured, everything is there, even after it had been destroyed and no there anymore. And this is also the reason why I like photography. I like to capture down some meaningful things, events and people. Memory might be fade away, but I like whenever I look back a photo album, I will smile

Every bitter and sour time we had tasted, already changed to sweet and beautiful memory in our life. And I believe every photo might tells about me, about you, or about life. It’s just that simple.

月圆之夜，这一天，

不一定能看到完美的月亮，我是我肯定，

就算没有月亮的出现，大家还是觉得很圆满

买不到的欢乐

又是一个筋疲力尽的周末。这一个月一直为家里与活动来回奔跑，这得是很累。朋友问我，到底自己是为了什么要这么做？为什么要搞到自己那么得累？我说，有时候啊，我也这么地问自己，为了什么？其实为了太多东西了。有时候不是为了纯粹做而做，有时候为了朋友，为了小孩，为了社会，为了自己……付出那一点点，又在自己的能力范围，觉得对的，就去了。

并没有想太多利益与损失，如果有时间计算那么多的话，那么一直生活的定义就一直颠覆着。我告诉自己，有些东西买不到的。快乐、友谊、童真。这一切一切都是值得珍藏的回忆。绝对是无可兑换的回忆。

这次的团康欢乐营又认识一班可爱的小孩。童真，真的是有时候会让人哭笑不得。但是也因为那样的童真，让自己也顿时放下了所有琐碎的烦事，让自己尽情地融入他们，快乐打闹的过了这一天。

带着疲惫的身躯回到家，依然要帮手拍摄一个活动的宣传短片。自己可觉得了不起，但在别人的眼里，就是大忙人，没事拿事做的白痴。我没关系啊，至少我是有过快乐实在的一天，我是带着疲劳而沉睡，至少不像那种高床暖枕还要说失眠的的人，来得不一样，至少我的生活过得有意义了吧。

不要浪费青春

青春就是要拿来有意义的挥霍

如果一味觉得因某些事情阻挡自己去做某些自己想做的事，做了才算吧。

我坚信有志者，事竟成。

It’s hurt.

I know there will be always problem if we did not bring the issue up and have a talk about it. And end up with cold respond and even less conversation between all of us. Should I put initiative on this? Or is that a girl’s job to have a beginning on the talk? Or should I always be the bad one so I should put this on and end up you hate me. I don’t know. Perhaps I am tired with it. We are tired with it. You could have thousand reason or excuses if I blame this on you. But the main point is I don’t meant to blame. I just want to bring this up and at least we need some talk about it. I don’t meant to break our friendship. I don’t meant to talk to you as I scare I might come out something that hurt you and I know my don’t-want-to-talk-to-you-face maybe had hurt you?(or you not really care at all?) Anyway, I did want to talk to you all and I just hardly to find a chance or a very good timing. And every time I feel so bad when I don’t feel to talk, act cold but still need to act-like-nothing-happened. Suffering as how much I was taking this so serious and maybe this is just nothing for you(perhaps I am nothing for you). And every time I have conversation with myself. I tell myself to calm, to forgo, to forgive and to forget everything that ruined our friendship. But every time I feel very tired as I did not really get respect, or any present appreciation from you all. I just feel so disappointed that I do not really worth in your eyes except for certain work and entertainment. I do not really know what is in your mind. Maybe I will get rebut aggressively from you if I tell you this. But look through what had you did and think deeply, did you really taken care of this? Even I have asking myself more than 10times and always argue with my inner angel and demon, I still cant really get it solved.

I just feel to blame myself taking this too serious until I get hurt. And that’s why I scare to have close relationship with people because I will easily get hurt. Perhaps I should let it go and concentrate on what I should do now. And I know every time I said this to myself, I just want to escape from problems and it will remain unsolved. Sorry. I just want to say, I am a coward.

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如果有一天，我不在了，你们会不会想起我？

至少我心目中，我觉得会想我的人只有那几个，又或许会被偶尔想起。

人就是那么的善忘，与其我说善忘，不如说没有被想念的价值。

你说人总是要往前看，不要被那些不好的回忆牵涉，让自己脚部变慢。

我说如果那个人、那件事，是有值得被记得、被想起的价值，以前就变得不一样了。你就会说，我就是忘不了，我控制不到自己。

人，总是有千千万万个借口为自己争辩。

而我没有要和你争辩的意思了，因为一切已失去了意义，失去了价值。

Searching for a way out

I do not know what I was doing recently. Feel kind of lost. Lost in everything and don’t know what I was or am doing for. A little bit depressed especially receiving stress from everywhere…No matter family,study,work or even friends. Maybe this is the time, a testing time in my life. Testing for my patient, my attitude, my persistency, and I know I must be strong enough to encounter all these tests. No one is perfect enough to perform The Best in all these tests. Perhaps I know that I would not be have high score in all of it. Maybe I just need a pass for it.

Human is really an incredible being. There are such a lot of things we need to deal with everyday, but still we able to cope with it and no matter how, we must have a way for it. Life, it is such a short term, but carry lots of meaning. We will never know what stage you are going into next. Like my stage, people said it’s young adulthood, I say it was a mixture of stages in life, or can I say it is undefined? And this is my life, even I am not so clear about what I am doing now, but I know what I am going to do.

Friends always say I was thinking too much. “yes I am.But who can did it as every seconds your brain would not stop working as you alive.”

Friends always tell me to take it easy. “could you do so?”

Yes. How much I wish I could stop thinking and planning for every step that I walked through? IF life isn’t all about gambling. IF we can put on our life and guarantee for winning. And IF we can really control OUR LIFE. And this is not the first day of our lesson, we should learn from that. Is that all I want to complaining about my life? I am not complaining actually. I just want to make myself clear that no matter how things going on, how good or bad it is, I still need to make a step forward because this is where the life process going on. Chill and I will be alright

沉

总在面对考试时，终于感觉到，时间不够了，有太多东西要做了，时间总是不够拿来温习。是自己太忙了，还是自己时间管理有问题？大多数都是后者。我不觉得有时候接太多东西，忙到没有时间吃饭或睡觉。至少我觉得生活是充实的，是开心的。

对，这个学期，就要这么过去了。悄悄的，我好像还没来得及看到自己学到什么新东西。但是课外的东西，可就不同了。接下了华文学会，刚进了饥饿三十筹委，这一年会把自己弄得比上一年更忙吧……疯狂的，活着我的岁月

会尽量，吸收所有东西，就像在书本上学不到的，我会更用心去体会。

体验着、细心的品味着，生活的点点滴滴。有时候会烦躁，有时候会为了小事情而觉得不开心，不喜欢被打扰，零乱的生活已经够麻烦了，但是有时候避免不了，自己的原则还在，但是也习惯接受，这一切想要或不想要的，告诉自己：“这可是生活啊~”要或不要其实大家都是身不由己。

但最近的自己很喜欢‘说服’。努力地说服自己，说服别人。生活还不是要努力地催眠自己，要不然我还能活到20几年啊……?

只要告诉自己，‘你要你行的，你行的，你行的”三遍不够，就够10遍，10遍不够，加够100遍。就算不行，至少自己的心，是温暖的。这个原理是可行的。人还不是欺骗来欺骗去，欺骗自己，应该觉得更加容易。

所以接下来我要做的事是继续催眠自己，

“去读书，去读书，去读书……”

然后欺骗自己“你可以的，你可以的，你可以的……”

Dak? Dak Jo~!

The 501st post

It was a long long day for Monday. Always. Class ended early today but wasn’t able to back home earlier as CCS meeting on 6PM. As we have to wait until the time and had a long discussion for coming yearly events. I was in some kind of moody, as my phone just committed suicide this morning, which can’t really ‘committed suicide’, but I put it to death. It just fell out from my pocket, and accidentally fell from level 3 to the end of the level, which is like 3-4 levels high I guess. Yes, the screen was not working, and I wondered how much will it cost to make it since my warranty just gone, but I have no use more than half year I think. Totally fed up with this kind of ‘accident’ or can I called it bad luck, or ‘fate’ that I have to accept, it’s just so coincident that, it fell out from my pocket, and so coincident that it fell right in the middle from level 3 to level 1. Alright fine. I was not totally depressed of this thing, even it bother me some of the time when I think of “It’s my newly bought phone!!!!”

Yet there is nothing else I can do for it. Just accept the fact and hope there will be some solution for it.

There are many things else waiting for me to settle and think of. Even the long day, we spend for long discussion on how to make our club stronger. Hopefully we are able come up with solution, but we should move a step forward before everything bright come to us. So that’s the thing. Efforts should be put in before any great success come to us. I always believe in that.

For this 501 post, for how much effort I have put in this blog, it’s uncountable. And I was so happy to share everything to my friends that care or concern about me. For the future 1000 post, I am looking forward to write more meaningful things in my life, as well as contains the power of influential.

Try to think of a question about people’s emotion and behavior.

Reflect it to yourselves at the end of the day, for whatever things happened around you. Think deeply and relate it to yourselves. Don’t you think there was something wrong too in your thinking and mind? Take a moment to think, it’s your choice.

其实每件事情的发生，都可能有着一定的原因，就算是人的情绪，也由不受控制的时候，但是只要耐心探讨，就会找到根点，视野也会变得旷阔。

Fact

Sometimes I cant just make up my mind on something. A decision. An opinion. 

I wish I could have my concentration, back to do things that I have to do.

Nothing much I wanted to say, I need courage, I need energy, I need time, to complete whatever written and highlighted in my schedule.

I know that I need to put more effort on doing something, even more than others, since I am not a genius nor lucky person. but somehow I am being stubborn on some kind of fair or unfair thinking.

Being forceful, something need to be done, THAT MUST BE DONE!

Cruel life, not matter how things to be done, imperfect or perfect, done before the deadline, IT’S RULE.

Not only you are the one who feel the disappointment, please put your legs in my shoes too. I will be the most disappointed person and saddest person in the world because IT’S MATTER ME.

No one is able to solve your problem, even a Psychologist only can HELP you to solve your problem. Help as in guidance, opinion, options. You solve your own problems.

I am so damn lack of time to do all things at the same time. Assignments, examination, meeting for ideas, camp… Crucial period, I know I will get through this. Persistence-heart-training-season.

*For friends who have troubles or problems as well, I suggest you to take a deep breath and hold on a strong believe that you can do it, with your bare hand or whatever along, sometimes troubles just happen to be solved =)

Stressed or Desserts?

It is just a couple of days I came back from my lovely CNY holiday. There are tones of assignments to be done and handed in. Though some are not so hard, but I just feel that we-just-like-a-working-assignment-machine. The brain is non-stop to thinking of the idea on how to do it, how to make it better and how to begin it as the most important point. I was not scare of it but there are in some senses of nervous, nervous of being lack of time to complete all the things in a short while. Perhaps plan and arrangement are needed to make my life easier.

There is still a long way to go. Many things need to be done step by step. Like one of the phrase that I saw and posted in my PM—"Stressed is desserts if you can reverse.” “压力，是甜品，如果你可以反方向思考。”Sorry for no citation because I was forget who wrote it. I just felt that it was so meaningful. But friend told me that it was no true because it is written in past tense. He is so true grammatically. But I think what this phrase want to present is that the mind set is very important. It’s all depends on you, how to think about a certain word, or things. It is not easy that everyone have such a positive thought when trouble comes. And I am trying to think, as positive as I can, maybe to cover the negative thoughts or whatever.

Stressed or desserts? It’s your choice.

Hard earn money

Through friends, I received a job on doing business assignment which is being rejected by business student and even said it is terribly hard. As a psychology student, I thought it was easy, but in fact it wasn’t. I regret. Till the time I turn it down. I think I am just over-estimate myself in doing things that I have not do before, and even not belongs to me.

What I was saying is I am just not a business student, and luckily I did not take business or business psychology. To do things that I do not like is suffered. I would like to work towards the money, but somehow the inner side will keep on argue that “is that worth to?” or “why am I doing things that I does not like?”.

But that is life and it is always true that we have to do things that we do not like and still we have to learn to survive in this reality. Somehow there are always choices to make my stands shaking. And this is true that when I come across choices, I will doubt and can’t really make a decision, in case I forced to make one. I hate myself suffering in dilemma, to do or not to do, to earn or not to earn. Of course we will always think on a positive side. In fact, making a decision to give up on something you are working on was not easy. Imagine I have spend so much time on it and even force myself to read something that I am not suppose to read. Fed up. Just screw the business assignment. Screw the Singapore institute. Screw the Rm100!

I was always wonder why there were people willing to do something that they do not like. Now I get to know some of the reason. Life made us to do it. I would do something that I like if I have enough of money. I would spend my time to do something benefit to the society if I have enough of time. If only if. If there is really ‘'if’’ exist in reality, there would not be so much troubles and problems happened in life.

But with the existence of ‘if’, we learned. Learned from the past, practice your present, to prepare for your future.

辩

精辨终于圆满结束……

这几天　都没有让自己好好休息过……

这是一味的忙忙忙……

忙到自己也觉得有点过火了……

是否真的要这么的对待自己？　我责问自己

每一次当自己最忙的时候 我都会这么问

要知道值不值得……

朋友说我是个‘理性鬼’……

有时候真的对于自己的过于理性感到辛苦

有时候想太多　顾虑太多

令到自己过于执着

所有东西都有好与坏的一面……

只是你站在那一个观点去看

就像是看了这么多场的辩论

正方与反方的立场 其实都能成立

但辩论的定义 与争议 是有待讨论的

我无法否认人生 其实就像是场辩论

每一天 我们都在和别人辩论 甚至于自己的矛与盾辩论着

就像辩论 输赢其实并不重要

赢的那方 只是有明确的论点 看起来合理所以赢了……

但是到头来 过程 才是我们需要真正去体会的……

---

说到看了这么多场的辩论

无可置疑 晋级的都是强手

区区中学生就有如斯的想法 我真的为社会感到欣慰

但当然以他们自己有一套想法为前提

而并不是单靠教练的指导

如果真的是如此的话 他们又肯为社会付出的话

我是觉得国家 甚至世界 真的有救了

但不谈国家 不谈政治

我只想说 这几天学到了不少东西

华语有急速进步了一些……=P

但相对的我知道自己也失去了某一些东西

可能在忙的时候忽略了别的朋友地感受

我只想说声对不起 我真的无法同时间顾虑到这么多东西

然而我发觉 当一个人成长时 看事情的层面会变得不同

处理方式也会一样随着更改了

学者去接受 随和 不想做无谓的争执与理论

有时候 过得去 开心 就好了

可能有时候结果真的很重要

但是对我来说 过程 是不可缺少的 =)

Terrified

Is being tortured by assignment and coming socio final exam...
Just feel over stress recently whenever assignments come...
What the hell I am doing?
Seriously no idea...
And suppose I have no time to blog but just feel-to-blog to make me relax and happier...
and also felt guilty whenever my evil,devil or whatever my bad housemate asking me to play with them
I just cant control myself...
Oh my god...~!!!
I was just too hate myself and actually the evil was in me, not them
and hell knows i have no idea how the past i have gone through
no matter how hard
I have been gone through

Optimistically view
It's actually the same
even though sometimes we feel that is not same
but the process actually the same and started over and over again~
Assignment/tests--scare and cant sleep and do til midnite--finally pass up on time and pray hard for grades--pass
it still will come to an end
it just maybe the result or outcome will not be the same

Perhaps at this moment
I told myself
It should be done!
and before that I should take enough sleep first...
Nite =)

''sentence-like'' story

Oh I am going to make this sentence by sentence but not writing essay, it's just a mind at the moment


1. I am sort of mentally imbalance for rushing two assignments together for the past few days.
2. Emotionally unstable psychological speaking.
3. This sem going to end soon and this year going to end as well...
4. Trying to flash back anything that have gave me the best memory, but I cant....
5. Everything is memorable in my life ever...it wouldnt easily fade away...
6. Obsessive and cant wait to go to Jay's new era concert next year =D
7. Money is a HUGE problem~ x.x
8. Yea there is something called ''ah-ha'' moment in life...unfortunately that I cant note all down =(
9. Mr Socio is very terrible...I hate it in a way that I also love 'him' so much...>.<

No no no...
Have nothing to write anymore...
Perhaps not now...nitez =)

sense of restless

Feeling so restless this few days after get back from bonding trip last Sunday...
Din post it out and I just kept it in my draft....
Again wrote till half way
mood change
emotionally talking
I was not in mood to continue my writing
and there are messy thoughts in my mind
so I stopped there and did not make any new post

Yet
there are many things I wan to share with
but time just not allow me to do so
I said assignment week which indicates that my assignments due date coming soon
and I need to spend at least 2 days to glance through all past researches, theories and references
and another 2 days to complete it perhaps...
No I'm not a genius
I dont think the assignments will be done incredibly good
(for sure the lecturers that I knew are very strict )
But still there are efforts that I will put on
try my best to complete it at least

yes
I am emo now
hate to use the word "emo"
but it would be the best word to describe the mood maybe
being emo is not a sin
being emo even is a trend
everyone likes to say this whenever they are down
no they wont say I'm so down or desperate or whatever but using the word "emo"
I like trend
but I hate the blindness to follow the trend
I judge
I wonder
Is that really the existence of something is wrong?
Things just flash in my mind
and there are too many at once
makes me feel breathless and numb
Restless
maybe a journey back home can make me feel better

此刻·点滴

抛弃了工作的生活已有两个礼拜……
日子从没停歇过……
除了忙还是忙……
想说的是
当然没之前读完书之后就要敢去工作的忙碌……
现在还可以挤出空闲看看自己喜欢看的戏……
发一下呆……
看一下自己还是那么钟爱的那片天空……

充实
是的
         开心
         有时也是的

至少还没有弄到自己不开心的事

会尽量不去计较……

尽量不去管那些有的没有的情绪……

有时候
            简单
                    我爽
                            快乐
                                   就可以了

宁静

有时在慢慢地侵蚀自己……
唯独音乐
能解救
我说
没有了它
生命好像
缺少了什么

喧闹的城市

静静的我不出声

细心的观察

身边的一切

仿佛可以置身事外

但原来

我还是逃不掉

那个叫做‘现实社会’的枷锁



Dreams still go on

Ok I admit I'm not strong enough to maintain my achievement....
I cant make sure that I can maintain both my work and study...
Therefore I have to give up one of them...
So sorry work...
I think promoter working time is more suitable for me...

Really stressed out and tired for the entire month...
I knew I can cope with it IF I REALLY WANT
But what's in my mind now...
Is just stop work and better concentrate on study first....
Maybe I just dont wan to take the risk....
Maybe I just not strong enough to face it...
Maybe I just need so rest...
Maybe I wanted to be live like a HUMAN again...
Or no more maybe...
Now I just want to follow my mind...
Do whatever that I happy and this make my life =)
------------------------------------------------------
输不起
我是输不起……
无论读书工作友情爱情……
不是不愿尝试……
而是害怕尝试了那种失败的感觉……
觉得自己是承受不起的……
那就不会勉强自己……
尽量的做自己觉得对的就行了……
---------------------------------------------------------
明天就要出粮了……
看着眼前的“债务”……
算了算真得所剩无几……
眼镜   手表   手机   衣服
还有周杰伦2011 演唱会门票……
几时我才能得到你们？？？！！！
 郁闷……
但是还会解决眼前的问题……
至于附属品……
应该还不是我现在这种年纪能达到的……
有剩再说吧……
===============今日话题===========================
今天和朋友谈到……
梦想与工作是不可能相提并论……
对的……
你可能找到适合的工作……
但未必是你喜欢的……
你梦寐以求的……
因为梦想在现实中是需要金钱去实现的……
没有金钱不代表没有梦想……
但是缺乏金钱的梦想……实践的机会率真的非常渺小……
九巴刀那句话还依然深刻的老在脑海……
“说出来会被嘲笑的梦想，才有实践的价值……”
我依然是个抱着无数梦想的人……
想要在这些梦，付诸于实践……
真的需要大量的时间与金钱……
尽管时间与金钱都是辅助品……
我觉得自己更加需要的是一颗坚强的心……
坚强的，不能轻易放弃的心……

~梦不会变，只要心肯坚~