1.12.14

Where it's ended, it's begin again


So 2014 almost getting to end
My life is still like that.
Looking backward all over this year from the beginning,
I didn’t get to set any goals for this year.
Still moaning for my lost of love, that time I have lost my life direction, no energy, no motivation, NOTHING.
Whatever I have to do is to getting up
Trying to diverse my attention to do other things
Build up hobbies,
Getting new toy,
Learn to cook,
Learn to bake,
Tried all sort of ways to diverse my pain.
You can’t imagine I’m still in pain few months back.
But now after 1 year,
I am tired.
Trying to put everything down and let it go.
NOTHING LAST FOREVER AND WE ALL KNEW THAT.
Whatever I got to do is “LIVE A NEW LIFE”
Memories will stay but it’s always will be faded away.
Moving forward is the only way that I can go.
I want myself to be brave again.
To be able to ALIVE again.
Maybe I should set a few goals for next year in the next post.

Be blessed, thankful and happy.


30.8.14

Soul

刚强的外表 只是外表
没有人会理解 也没有人会尝试理解 
这坚强的躯壳 里头的脆弱
脆弱没有用
就好像哭了之后还是要笑着面对生活一样
虽然我还是很爱哭 很喜欢为了一点小事 一点感动而落泪
的确那么的敏感
那么的脆弱
看一套戏 总有很多感触
听一首歌 总有很多回忆
脑子里 总有很多想法 很多思绪
杂乱 
没有人可以倾诉
我想起了那个无数的夜晚 
我自己独自一个人去面对
让我开始了写部落格的习惯
对着空白的墙 
写下宁乱的思绪
有时候删除 有时候整理
有时候还可以回顾
我知道尽管我无处可去 思绪无处可逃
这个小角落 永远都会在这里 陪着我 
细数岁月…

28.8.14

傲慢的孤独


我忘了怎么写部落格……
很久很久都没有把自己想说的写出来了
是不是长大了 很多事都只能往心里吞?
是不是长大了 很多事都变得不重要不值得去纪录?
是不是长大了 我们连自己抒发的空间和自由都没有了?

我的确习惯了 很多事 都往心里吞
因为我无法无时无刻都把自己的心情纪录
反正就不喜欢像其他人一样 任意的把自己所想的发在自己的社群上
有时候宁愿 隔了很久很久
那个心情还在 事情多的吞不下
才会写下来

当然今天
也不是想‘依莫’
但是心情 很不由自主地
糟糕了起来

我也很想 有天天放晴的时候
但是一直在逼自己 假装没事
是真的 可以没事吗?
我可以做好人
尽管我想做最坏的人 最自私 什么都不理的人
但是我却做不出

告诉自己 努力的过自己的生活吧
虽然很多时候 要熬过自己一个人的生活
很不喜欢 但选择习惯
习惯自己靠自己 
不再依赖别人
或许 与生俱来的孤傲 就是拿来习惯寂寞的
这个夜晚 下了一场大雨 
天气冷冷的 
很适合冷冷的心 冷冷的心情…
晚安

13.5.14

Cafe Review:Cups N Canvas at Selegie Road

As promised since the last post, I am going to explore another cafe located at Selegie Road which is very artistic and suitable for me - A person who loves art so much.

The cafe is called "Cups N Canvas", a cafe with artistic concept whereby it's linked to a art gallery where another area of the shop will be closed on certain time for art classes. 
The shop is located at Selegie Road, walkable distance from either Dhoby Ghaut/Bras Basah MRT station. We reached there around 3 something before the heavy pouring. We felt so lucky as the rain pour right after we entered the shop.
It's really rained heavily outside!!
The shop is bigger with the gallery is opened for public, but I'm sure it will be crowded if the area is closed for classes. We settle down and get our order at the counter. 
We sat inside the art gallery where alot of completed/incomplete paints there!! *excited*
Making our move to the counter and we looked at the blackboard where the written menu was located. As we had our lunch, we just decided to grab some dessert and coffee.




Sticky Date Pudding with Ice-Cream. $7
(It's like yummy hot chocolate cake topping with some almond or nuts(im not too sure) with cold ice cream for me!!)
Very nice and highly recommended!!!


This is the drink that attracts me to the shop.
Sweet Potato Latte.
A purpleish drink with coffee art on top. Satisfaction level 99%
Mocha.
Personally I think it's nicer than the provision shop despite on the coffee art.
Probably the barista is too busy to entertain every customer during peak hours.


The other side of the shop where the entrance & counter are.
Guess how I pass through my Good Friday there despite the coffee & dessert??

Tada....!!! A newly bought toy before I go to the shop.
Recesky Twin Lens Reflex Camera (They called it TLR in short)
It costs $14.90 without film (quite a cheap toy for me though)
This is what DIY mean.
I enjoyed alot rather than paying $5 more for the assembly one.
Me figuring out how to put everything together from the guidebook.
It was really exciting to figure out how the thing is really constructed. 
My friend was complaining I was too much focusing on the new toy
and keep chasing me to finish the cake and drink  >.<

And this is where the total satisfaction when come to a completion stage!!!
Imma HAPPY KID!!!
What a splendid Good Friday it was.
I will certainly miss this moment when I back to office next week :(
Testing out with my line doll. It's-just-so-cute.
 Wrapping up everything  in a nutshell, this is a very nice cafe with artistic atmosphere and I do enjoyed a lot especially with the cold whether that I could enjoyed a cup of hot coffee inside a cafe surrounded by coffee smell. *Sorry I admitted I was too focusing on my new toy and not really have time to grab a total glance on the shop itself. But I'm sure I will pay another visit next time!!


Opening Hours:
Tues to Thurs: 10.30am-10pm
Fri to Sat: 10.30am-11pm
Sun: 10am-8pm
Monday: Cafe Closed

11.5.14

往事只能回味

Reading back my old blogs again.
I love to read backwards, on my own writing.
It's like I'm going through the past of my own life, again.
Realized how stupid I am to write about the silly shits, but there's some very psychological, and some philological...
I used to write a lot especially in Chinese. When Chinese philosophy is so deep and I always like to write in poem style and looks very 'deep'.

In fact I missed those days.
Those days where I could express myself easily.
Could hang out with friends for all days long without caring anything or never say tired.
 I could be very spontaneous and just on for any trip.
Yes I did such things before but now that I am no longer a student but an adult who needs to bear the responsibilities to at least support my own life and not be the burden to the family anymore.
When you realized this transition might not be a good thing, that you might not want to grow up, but you cannot stay as a child forever.
Sometimes, I would say, it's still good to be an adult because we are finally afford to buy something you like and you do not need to ask for anyone's permission.
You are the only one to report to, and responsible for your own life.

以前总是很在意自己每一个blog post (现在是比较随性)
很在乎每个句子 用的文字
要几个小时才能写出一篇东西
现在我看半个小时就能随便的打出一堆有的没的
总是很享受 翻阅回自己写过的东西
可以发现以前跟现在的自己有什么分别
自己又做出了什么改变
以前总是喜欢扛上一大堆责任 把自己搞得很忙很忙 过得很充实很充实
现在出来社会工作了
除了工作 就是自己与自己的对话
慢条斯理的 悠闲的过着自己的人生
偶尔 我还是想念 那时的疯狂
现在恐怕肯和你疯狂的 没有几个
工作的工作
拍拖的拍拖
散的散
能聚在一起 不是必然
所以我可以很随性的 有人约 我几乎都不会拒绝
现在总是一个人的
有时候 难免还是会觉得孤单
可能 每一个转折点 都需要时间去适应
以前我总觉得单身没什么不好
但好不容易习惯了有人陪伴
然后现在又剩下自己一个人……
很庆幸的 还有对自己不离不弃的家人
虽然在异国,但是偶尔还可以跟哥哥们吃下东西、逛下街

对了 今天是母亲节
今年不能回去和妈妈庆祝
有时候觉得妈妈总会明白
但是有时却觉得很愧疚
明明就是可以为了朋友回去 无论多累
但是说到回家却可以理所当然的说累

我们总在年轻时 喜欢往外跑
因为无论如何
我们知道
那个女人 总会在家等我们
但是 人总会老去
妈妈 又能等我们多久?……
当我在后悔的当时
岁月 也悄悄地的过去

珍惜当下
回味过去




17.4.14

Do what you love,live who you are.


这个重新认识自己的旅程
我希望我的人生 可以更精彩
我不奢望大富大贵
生活过得满足、平稳、最重要是快乐 那就足够了
生命 真的不只有单一的事情
还有好多好多值得我们去关注 去欣赏的风景
今天的感触,是源于一段无聊的谈话
但是我很享受
我执着喜欢着自己一直喜欢的事物,可以是一首歌,一杯咖啡,一段风景,一个人。
尽管工作我无从选择,
在周末做下自己喜欢的东西,享受一下人生
也不是一间很难的事。

这一刻,享受人生吧。


1.4.14

至我熟悉又陌生的朋友

可能我们真的不是很熟
真的不算熟
但是我记得你是我们的一分子
那个整天酷酷的 默默地个子高高的身影
听到那样的消息
心情真的很沉重
或许我不应该那么的伤心 (因为我们不是很熟)
但是我却无法高兴
因为你曾是我们的朋友,我们的一分子
我是个很群体的动物
我认为的朋友,是一辈子的……
尽管我们少联络,尽管我们没有联络……

可惜的是 我们的聚会只会越来越少人
你的离去 最痛心的莫过于爱你的亲人和你的女朋友吧
身为朋友的我们都可以那么感伤了,我的确无法想象那种白头人送黑头人的痛
一个人的离去,可以使解脱,可以是释放
但是给留下来的人 的痛苦和思念 是永无竟止的
尽管自己已经面对了不少的生离死别
但是离别来袭,我们连那说句话到别的时间都没有的那种感觉
真的很不好受
人的生命,真的很脆弱
我们都不知道下一刻谁会被带走
或许真的真的要一直提醒自己 活在当下吧
若把伤感变成正能量 那你会变成我们永不会忘的朋友
并让我们知道生命脆弱,人生苦短
大家能聚就聚 惜时把握
至少现在的大家,还能够因为你而聚在一块……
我希望 你为我们留下来的并不会只是悲伤
那将会变成 我们凝聚的力量……

永远怀念- John叶家勇

23.2.14

从前的从前 很喜欢写作
喜欢 陶醉 在那个自己与自己对话的时刻
但是生活忙碌 成了自己慢慢忘了与自己对话的借口
不变的是 我还是喜欢带上耳机 享受与音乐独处的时刻

心里 有很多话说不出口
打也打不出
说穿的话 就好像把自己赤裸裸的呈现在别人面前
有时候想人家明白 有时候却想把自己隐藏的很密很密
很多时候出现的矛盾 也成了消失在blog的原因
有些人喜欢把自己大小生活毫无余地的呈现在别人眼前
有些人只喜欢与自己最亲密的人分享 然后让其他人都把他看成是个谜
我是后者
我喜欢和人分享 但只限于我认为信得过的人
我不喜欢把那个不快乐自己呈现 
不要别人看见自己的脆弱
仿佛很多人都想做到看似坚强的铁汉子 纯爷们
谁都知道看似坚强的人 其实很脆弱
但是不要去揭穿
因为那是他们保护自己的模式
揭穿的脆弱 让人不知所措
让人不懂该如何去面对
因为要欺骗人 首先要欺骗自己
他们好不容易才把自己欺骗了
现在的揭穿 只会让那覆盖着的伤口 赤裸裸的呈现
恐怕刺痛 只有伤的人才懂

(叹气)
好端端的一个周末想抱着一个好心情写下blog
写下写下不知道为什么变成谈坚强谈伤痛
可能明天又是个monday blue
但是无论如何生活还是要过
下个月的阳光与海滩在等着我呢!