2.3.15

又有一陣子 
沒有辦法寫部落
有時候 
就是很想把自己收起來
收得太過裡面
連外面的自己也沒有發現
原來 有很久沒有和自己對話了

可能人長得越大
越沒辦法面對真正的自己
可能覺得無關痛癢
也可能覺得也並不是很重要
那些痛 一下子就會過去的
那些悲傷 一下子 也會隨著時間漸漸消失
可是到了某個時候 
就偶爾的一剎那
一些事情 一些話題 一些小動作 
都會喚起那些曾經
那些曾經 可能是快樂的
但回想起來 卻酸酸的 苦苦的⋯
越想 心就越痛 
記得,那刺痛的感覺 很久都沒出現了
但痛起來時 還是一樣 那麼的難受
那麼的令人窒息

習慣性的隱藏自己 
我會轉移視線
我會突然沈默
我會放空
我不想讓人發現
那顆自尊心太過強烈
只告訴自己 一定要活得快樂⋯

7.1.15

时间·变化·适应


所有的承诺、约定、誓言
都会经过时间的考验
如果通过了 大家的心都还未改变
那么当初的约定
或许还会实现

可惜的是
我们不能改变的是‘改变’
无法控制每个人的变化
新朋友、新事物、新环境
我们无法不改变去迎合身边的一切……

但是 不要紧
我们都需要时间 去适应。

1.1.15

我的2014



2014, 家人终于等到了我的毕业
终于成为了家里唯一一个大学毕业的孩子。虽然现在还不能赚什么大钱,还在学习怎么管理钱财,慢慢build up自己的事业。
2015,我会继续学习,成为家里值得骄傲的孩子。

2014,终于熬过了工作的第一年。
有太多太多从生活中可以学习的事情。我以为以前的自己很独立了,其实现在更加独立,加上金钱上的独立,还有能力给回家里,这是我觉得“真的长大了”,也要为家里付出一些。
2015,我会更独立的完成要做的事,不会成为家里的负担之余还能帮忙家人。

2014,适应新环境已成为了自己生活的一部分。
无论生活再遇到什么困难、什么瓶颈,逃避是解决不了问题的。只能逼自己慢慢的学会适应、面对,以后才能接受更多的挑战。
2015,你等着瞧,我已经准备接受更多的挑战。

2014,生活有家人、朋友,一起吃好的,一起玩乐、过重要的节日、旅行、看演唱会…
他们是生活的一部分、必需品,也是精神支柱。谢谢你们一直在我身边。
2015,让我们继续的狂欢、旅行、玩乐!

2014,发生了很多很多不愉快的事情、灾难…还活着,是幸运的。
2015,希望大家用正能量驱走所有不愉快的事情,有能力的话就给予需要的人一些帮助。这个世界,有太多需要帮助的人。努力珍惜自己的当下之余,也给予别人机会去看下未来。

1.12.14

Where it's ended, it's begin again


So 2014 almost getting to end
My life is still like that.
Looking backward all over this year from the beginning,
I didn’t get to set any goals for this year.
Still moaning for my lost of love, that time I have lost my life direction, no energy, no motivation, NOTHING.
Whatever I have to do is to getting up
Trying to diverse my attention to do other things
Build up hobbies,
Getting new toy,
Learn to cook,
Learn to bake,
Tried all sort of ways to diverse my pain.
You can’t imagine I’m still in pain few months back.
But now after 1 year,
I am tired.
Trying to put everything down and let it go.
NOTHING LAST FOREVER AND WE ALL KNEW THAT.
Whatever I got to do is “LIVE A NEW LIFE”
Memories will stay but it’s always will be faded away.
Moving forward is the only way that I can go.
I want myself to be brave again.
To be able to ALIVE again.
Maybe I should set a few goals for next year in the next post.

Be blessed, thankful and happy.


30.8.14

Soul

刚强的外表 只是外表
没有人会理解 也没有人会尝试理解 
这坚强的躯壳 里头的脆弱
脆弱没有用
就好像哭了之后还是要笑着面对生活一样
虽然我还是很爱哭 很喜欢为了一点小事 一点感动而落泪
的确那么的敏感
那么的脆弱
看一套戏 总有很多感触
听一首歌 总有很多回忆
脑子里 总有很多想法 很多思绪
杂乱 
没有人可以倾诉
我想起了那个无数的夜晚 
我自己独自一个人去面对
让我开始了写部落格的习惯
对着空白的墙 
写下宁乱的思绪
有时候删除 有时候整理
有时候还可以回顾
我知道尽管我无处可去 思绪无处可逃
这个小角落 永远都会在这里 陪着我 
细数岁月…

28.8.14

傲慢的孤独


我忘了怎么写部落格……
很久很久都没有把自己想说的写出来了
是不是长大了 很多事都只能往心里吞?
是不是长大了 很多事都变得不重要不值得去纪录?
是不是长大了 我们连自己抒发的空间和自由都没有了?

我的确习惯了 很多事 都往心里吞
因为我无法无时无刻都把自己的心情纪录
反正就不喜欢像其他人一样 任意的把自己所想的发在自己的社群上
有时候宁愿 隔了很久很久
那个心情还在 事情多的吞不下
才会写下来

当然今天
也不是想‘依莫’
但是心情 很不由自主地
糟糕了起来

我也很想 有天天放晴的时候
但是一直在逼自己 假装没事
是真的 可以没事吗?
我可以做好人
尽管我想做最坏的人 最自私 什么都不理的人
但是我却做不出

告诉自己 努力的过自己的生活吧
虽然很多时候 要熬过自己一个人的生活
很不喜欢 但选择习惯
习惯自己靠自己 
不再依赖别人
或许 与生俱来的孤傲 就是拿来习惯寂寞的
这个夜晚 下了一场大雨 
天气冷冷的 
很适合冷冷的心 冷冷的心情…
晚安

13.5.14

Cafe Review:Cups N Canvas at Selegie Road

As promised since the last post, I am going to explore another cafe located at Selegie Road which is very artistic and suitable for me - A person who loves art so much.

The cafe is called "Cups N Canvas", a cafe with artistic concept whereby it's linked to a art gallery where another area of the shop will be closed on certain time for art classes. 
The shop is located at Selegie Road, walkable distance from either Dhoby Ghaut/Bras Basah MRT station. We reached there around 3 something before the heavy pouring. We felt so lucky as the rain pour right after we entered the shop.
It's really rained heavily outside!!
The shop is bigger with the gallery is opened for public, but I'm sure it will be crowded if the area is closed for classes. We settle down and get our order at the counter. 
We sat inside the art gallery where alot of completed/incomplete paints there!! *excited*
Making our move to the counter and we looked at the blackboard where the written menu was located. As we had our lunch, we just decided to grab some dessert and coffee.




Sticky Date Pudding with Ice-Cream. $7
(It's like yummy hot chocolate cake topping with some almond or nuts(im not too sure) with cold ice cream for me!!)
Very nice and highly recommended!!!


This is the drink that attracts me to the shop.
Sweet Potato Latte.
A purpleish drink with coffee art on top. Satisfaction level 99%
Mocha.
Personally I think it's nicer than the provision shop despite on the coffee art.
Probably the barista is too busy to entertain every customer during peak hours.


The other side of the shop where the entrance & counter are.
Guess how I pass through my Good Friday there despite the coffee & dessert??

Tada....!!! A newly bought toy before I go to the shop.
Recesky Twin Lens Reflex Camera (They called it TLR in short)
It costs $14.90 without film (quite a cheap toy for me though)
This is what DIY mean.
I enjoyed alot rather than paying $5 more for the assembly one.
Me figuring out how to put everything together from the guidebook.
It was really exciting to figure out how the thing is really constructed. 
My friend was complaining I was too much focusing on the new toy
and keep chasing me to finish the cake and drink  >.<

And this is where the total satisfaction when come to a completion stage!!!
Imma HAPPY KID!!!
What a splendid Good Friday it was.
I will certainly miss this moment when I back to office next week :(
Testing out with my line doll. It's-just-so-cute.
 Wrapping up everything  in a nutshell, this is a very nice cafe with artistic atmosphere and I do enjoyed a lot especially with the cold whether that I could enjoyed a cup of hot coffee inside a cafe surrounded by coffee smell. *Sorry I admitted I was too focusing on my new toy and not really have time to grab a total glance on the shop itself. But I'm sure I will pay another visit next time!!


Opening Hours:
Tues to Thurs: 10.30am-10pm
Fri to Sat: 10.30am-11pm
Sun: 10am-8pm
Monday: Cafe Closed

11.5.14

往事只能回味

Reading back my old blogs again.
I love to read backwards, on my own writing.
It's like I'm going through the past of my own life, again.
Realized how stupid I am to write about the silly shits, but there's some very psychological, and some philological...
I used to write a lot especially in Chinese. When Chinese philosophy is so deep and I always like to write in poem style and looks very 'deep'.

In fact I missed those days.
Those days where I could express myself easily.
Could hang out with friends for all days long without caring anything or never say tired.
 I could be very spontaneous and just on for any trip.
Yes I did such things before but now that I am no longer a student but an adult who needs to bear the responsibilities to at least support my own life and not be the burden to the family anymore.
When you realized this transition might not be a good thing, that you might not want to grow up, but you cannot stay as a child forever.
Sometimes, I would say, it's still good to be an adult because we are finally afford to buy something you like and you do not need to ask for anyone's permission.
You are the only one to report to, and responsible for your own life.

以前总是很在意自己每一个blog post (现在是比较随性)
很在乎每个句子 用的文字
要几个小时才能写出一篇东西
现在我看半个小时就能随便的打出一堆有的没的
总是很享受 翻阅回自己写过的东西
可以发现以前跟现在的自己有什么分别
自己又做出了什么改变
以前总是喜欢扛上一大堆责任 把自己搞得很忙很忙 过得很充实很充实
现在出来社会工作了
除了工作 就是自己与自己的对话
慢条斯理的 悠闲的过着自己的人生
偶尔 我还是想念 那时的疯狂
现在恐怕肯和你疯狂的 没有几个
工作的工作
拍拖的拍拖
散的散
能聚在一起 不是必然
所以我可以很随性的 有人约 我几乎都不会拒绝
现在总是一个人的
有时候 难免还是会觉得孤单
可能 每一个转折点 都需要时间去适应
以前我总觉得单身没什么不好
但好不容易习惯了有人陪伴
然后现在又剩下自己一个人……
很庆幸的 还有对自己不离不弃的家人
虽然在异国,但是偶尔还可以跟哥哥们吃下东西、逛下街

对了 今天是母亲节
今年不能回去和妈妈庆祝
有时候觉得妈妈总会明白
但是有时却觉得很愧疚
明明就是可以为了朋友回去 无论多累
但是说到回家却可以理所当然的说累

我们总在年轻时 喜欢往外跑
因为无论如何
我们知道
那个女人 总会在家等我们
但是 人总会老去
妈妈 又能等我们多久?……
当我在后悔的当时
岁月 也悄悄地的过去

珍惜当下
回味过去