The 501st post

It was a long long day for Monday. Always. Class ended early today but wasn’t able to back home earlier as CCS meeting on 6PM. As we have to wait until the time and had a long discussion for coming yearly events. I was in some kind of moody, as my phone just committed suicide this morning, which can’t really ‘committed suicide’, but I put it to death. It just fell out from my pocket, and accidentally fell from level 3 to the end of the level, which is like 3-4 levels high I guess. Yes, the screen was not working, and I wondered how much will it cost to make it since my warranty just gone, but I have no use more than half year I think. Totally fed up with this kind of ‘accident’ or can I called it bad luck, or ‘fate’ that I have to accept, it’s just so coincident that, it fell out from my pocket, and so coincident that it fell right in the middle from level 3 to level 1. Alright fine. I was not totally depressed of this thing, even it bother me some of the time when I think of “It’s my newly bought phone!!!!”

Yet there is nothing else I can do for it. Just accept the fact and hope there will be some solution for it.

There are many things else waiting for me to settle and think of. Even the long day, we spend for long discussion on how to make our club stronger. Hopefully we are able come up with solution, but we should move a step forward before everything bright come to us. So that’s the thing. Efforts should be put in before any great success come to us. I always believe in that.

For this 501 post, for how much effort I have put in this blog, it’s uncountable. And I was so happy to share everything to my friends that care or concern about me. For the future 1000 post, I am looking forward to write more meaningful things in my life, as well as contains the power of influential.

Try to think of a question about people’s emotion and behavior.

Reflect it to yourselves at the end of the day, for whatever things happened around you. Think deeply and relate it to yourselves. Don’t you think there was something wrong too in your thinking and mind? Take a moment to think, it’s your choice.

其实每件事情的发生，都可能有着一定的原因，就算是人的情绪，也由不受控制的时候，但是只要耐心探讨，就会找到根点，视野也会变得旷阔。

背包客·梦

一直在想，能不能够有一天，什么都不用想，就背着一个背包，开始寻找自己的旅程。

如果活着就是要走下去，那我愿背着背包不停歇地走

很喜欢旅行，到处体验不同的民族风情

不懂从几时开始，爱上了那样的自由。

那么的洒脱却又不失自己。

圆梦的道路，是那么的遥远。

但是只要坚信，一步一步地接近，梦想其实也不是空想。

Melaka trip

Had a trip to Melaka with friends. A simple yet memorable two days trip.

On the first day, I just like a bagpacker who carry two bags, on my Ipod, began my journey alone. As others will go from Ipoh and Qiao will meet up us at Melaka. I go by myself. Seriously I was quite enjoyed to walk around by myself. I just decide my way and explore the way without knowing the exact place, all my by own. Proudly to myself, this is not the first time I travelled alone since I always take train all the way back to hometown and I think it’s quite normal.

I started my journey quite early as I thought to walk around by myself first. So I followed friend’s car back to college, took a RM1 bus to Bangsar LRT and another RM1 to KL Central. Had a breakfast at extremely packed MCD, as I think there was promotion for whatever free things, typical Malaysian huh? Always obsessed with free things. I took my breakfast slowly as I was not rush on time.

A man passed by occasionally while I had my breakfast.  “Are you a Chinese?”  “Yes.” I answered. He started on with talking Mandarin and pursued me to donate for idk what orang asli and said we are Malaysian should help our own people in the country. I enjoyed my burger and listened to him patiently, and when he showed me the list and ask me to write about the donation, I said", “I will go and donate myself if I want to.” He gave me a ‘sienz face’ and said, “every Chinese also said the same thing but who will do it?” I gave him a smile, he walked away and I continued my breakfast.

I have some thought in my mind. I do an exception in Chinese that will really approach to help others, as you said our community by myself, instead of donation, I will do volunteer work which is more useful I think. Secondly, how could I believe people nowadays, especially there were many people else asked for donation at KL Central especially. Couldn’t blame on me as I think it’s really ridiculous to donate in this way, I did donate before, long time ago when I first came to KL, when I was so naïve, but since then I saw a lot people like this so I stop to believe anyone of them, as I said, I can help in other ways. I was like “It was so funny.” when I listened what he said and the look was so sarcastic. “I did nothing wrong.” I told myself, if you really so looking for donation, why don’t you do things in other ways? I just don’t understand, maybe he was  cheating me but it’s so funny he giving me that face, IF HE WAS REAL, still funny as I dont donate he no need to show me THAT FACE, should charity be forced? IN fact, I felt pathetic for the people who need help, who will believe them as there were so many cheater outside the world. I would be one of them, but if you ask for some help, which I think logical, I will help, as we expected help too when we were in trouble.

After that, ignore the stupid fella, finished my breakfast and took another RM1 KTM to Bandar Tasik Selatan in order to take TBS bus to Melaka Central. TBS was well-developed than I thought, it’s new and the system was quite satisfied.

The ticket with my name

Yes, It does look like an airport as ppl said

The sun is so sunny at Melaka

Mahkota Parade, which is small than I thought

Dataran Pahlawan, this is somewhere near Mahkota Parade, we went after teatime with delicious layer cake =)

Have a morning walk at Melaka river

After all, the most fascinating thing at Melaka was the food. Hopefully I was able to taste all the famous but only some delicious food there. The layer cake was the first one I had, and I gave 8 star out of 10 for it, which will be the highest. After that, I had Asam Laksa which located at Jonker Street. So so only for me, because it was so spicy for me~ Got 5 out of 10 star. We also ate cendol there. Use a lot of local Gula Melaka, too sweet for me~ As I also miss the cendol at Johor. Give 4 star only for it. Around 10 at night, we when to Capitol Satay Celup, which is famous there. I thought it was really ‘SATAY’ but it’s actually LOK LOK, which special only for the soup is satay favor. It just special for that, but I think so so only and quite expensive by the way. 6 star for it’s private-made satay sauce maybe. Another day before we back, we finally able to try Chicken rice ball, which is quite special also. I like the design of the restaurant in fact, the rice was fine, but the chicken I do prefer Ipoh Tauge Chicken. 7 star combine with the artistic and classic design of the restaurant.

We walked a lot too. As no transport, we just solely depend on our legs. Even sometimes too tired so travelled with Cap, but WE STILL WALKED A LOT LOT~~My legs were so pain when I took bus back to KL.

Anyway, I do enjoy this trip with my lovely friends. Even it was a bit short and rush, we had our typical fun moment. Looking forward the next bagpack as we promised  

Gloomy day

Thinking what to write for today- A gloomy Tuesday. The sun never shine and my mood is just like the weather- gloomy and a little bit moody because of the flu and coughing never ended. Suffering because still need to do the damn-headache-assignments.

And my house was added a new member, can’t say for a while as ‘'he’ will follow his ‘mother’ to move to our condo soon. Here is the nightmare begin. The new member is a DOG. Yes I like dogs. But somehow I hate to take care of dog. >.< especially those fierce and out-of-control one. He obviously can be the reverse one. I mean GOD not DOG. He was just like the king of the world when he barking at you, started to show his teeth on you, like tell you: “Don’t ever touch me or I WILL BITE YOU.” Obviously he wins, I mean always. I was not angry of it, as I know it just a dog, like a little kid, sometimes can be adorable and cute IF HE JUST KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT. [Anyway, don’t mind me to blame a bit if you see this Glady. No hard feeling =) ]

Somehow I just don’t understand what people think about. I think the “NOTHING BOX” not only existed in man, but also the teenagers nowadays. Erm, I think I was like that sometimes too =P  I was like ‘nothing’ if you saw me looking at somewhere and looked like thinking of something, sometimes, it just can be meaningless and blank in my mind.

Had finished my assignment for this week earlier. Thanks to my groupmate-Carmen that motivated me a lot, so there wasn’t procrastination happen for this week =D And I can off to my vacation to Melaka with my Ipoh buddies on this Friday, hopefully no changes and this trip can ON successfully. Maybe this is the time for me to have some break before final. Meanwhile, I hope to have some fun with my lovely friend that will go to Japan to further her study soon. (You know I go because of you. LOL.)

I think this is my day so far. Hope tmr I can see the sun shine =)

Another visit to orphanage

So here is my day. Pay a visit to Agathian Shelter located at PJ area due to our LLS group project. Yes we’re having so much fun there. And I think our group was quite a big success since we are so much connected to each other as we always have face-to-face meeting.

Personally I think this is what group work I am searching for in a GROUP ASSIGNMENT. Everyone is putting effort and willing to work together to make the achievement. I love my groupmates indeed. We were not solely group for the report and simply go for 4 hours volunteers work but we did planned and organized all the things, because we did want to do something to the children.

Talking about the children, all I could say is tired-able. To get them to listen to you, and remember most of their name were my BIG trouble. It’s really hard to get to know each of them within few hours. Anyway, as long as they’re having fun. I think this would be the best thing we could achieved.

They are adorable indeed.

=)

 

散·文

（一）一句能表达现在心情的歌词。

“沒有想法 有想法又能怎樣
只能寫部落格整晚
幾個留言安慰不了 心裡的遺憾”—— 丁当《一半》

有时候几句歌词，就能表达到自己的心情。我不懂为何还要写那么多去修饰。有时候是想法，是心情。在人前总是保持沉默，沉默并不代表没有意见，没有想法。有时候沉默，只是不想懂那么多，而为了那些有的没的而出现的那种想法，浪费着时间、岁月。

（二）距离，就是那么耐人寻味。

若近若远，似有似无。那么的虚幻，有时候保持距离，设有界限，可能对大家比较好。

（三）世俗

讨厌世俗的虚伪，但是你无法不承认虚伪就是定律，是不伤害别人至于还能保护自己的行为。我懂，我明白，就算站在腐败的社会，也要鹤立鸡群，拥有独立的思想与行动。

（四）末日

可不可能什么都不在乎，就算世界真的末日，那就打开双臂迎接吧。就在末日之际，拥有遗憾，那又怎样？总是有无能为力的时候，放开、看开，可能会让自己好过点吧。

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1) Don’t tell me what life should be, I already knew what it is.

2) Maybe you are right, when I say this, I stand on your perspective; I have my own thoughts too, can’t people just look at different perspectives just like I do respect your thoughts too?

3) I don’t know what’s in your world, maybe it’s just simple as that, perhaps I just don’t want to understand.

4) Stay in peace for everything. JUST FOR PEACE.

Just live for it

Not really remember what I was writing for the previous post which I have already lost it. Yes I have wrote something few days ago but I did not post and now I found it was lost. Trying to search back in my memory, maybe is about my busy life and how I cope with the stress with tones of assignments, COS(stands for Community Outreach Service, which I always mention in my blog) and also CCS(Chinese Culture Society, a new society that I joined at HELP, which is also Chinese based) activities.

Alright, what I mean busy is that, regardless of usual school time, I will have meeting for every week, different assignments to pass up nearly every Friday except this next week, need to spend at least one day per week for my part time job, need to get some outing with my friends to maintain friendship…bla bla bla… So you can see normally I can update my blog everyday, at least one post per day or two day, but now I totally have not enough time to write my thoughts.

However, I want to say that I am enjoying what I am or was doing. I never regret what I’ve joined or took part in. This is just part of my life. Do whatever you like, make your life YOUR LIFE.

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I knew many people are crazy and afraid of “THE END OF THE WORLD” when Japan got 8.9 earthquake and tsunami recently. Everyone just freak out~ Everyone is afraid of death and scare the bad thing will happen to them. I don’t know how can I face this so peacefully and don’t ask me why. I am not that cold-blooded and say, I AM CONCERN ABOUT LIFE. Frankly, it doesn’t really happen on me and I don’t know what will I react if it really happen to me. I can say I have no sense of worry or tension when face to death, but I am a coward if you ask me to kill myself or jumping down from a building. This is what I can say.

What I posted for my status: “Everyday, there were some people die, but why when there was only a big traumatic event, people only realize we should grateful for life or have to pray hard for the unfortunate people? I thought we should have this kind of thinking no matter how the world is or will be. Incept this thinking as the very basic principle in your everyday life, when the day come, maybe you can face the death peacefully.”  This is what I want to tell the people whoever scare or believe in ‘2012’ or ‘end of the world’, live as what you live in. What are you freaking out for? There is a probability that you are going to die for the next second. WHO KNOWS? Could you tell me when you are going to die, unless you end your life yourselves? Don’t you realize people are just helpless whenever things are out of control? You could pray hard or even harder for the one who suffered from the traumatic event, but what’s left you can actually do to help them? Do something meaningful man~ Participate in donation, get into physical help, that is what they needed. Do as what you said.

And next what I want to sum up is that, JUST LIVE IN YOU LIFE. Make it meaningful as you live in it. You can pray hard for whatever bad things never happen to you and just live in your world. But trust me you gonna hold on a very powerful principle in life, that is “LIVE FOR TODAY AS THERE WAS NO TOMORROW.” You never know whether you have ‘tomorrow’.

If you ask me what is the most powerful thing in the world, I will say “human mind”. A piece of thought can make anything different. If I could control mind, I would not manipulate it, I will influence it and let it be what it should be.  

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你问我青春是什么？青春就是做你想做的，活在当下！

很想在年轻的时候，大干一场。

年少轻狂，忙碌就是你的岁月，至少汗水是流在有意义的事情上！

我没有钱，但青春就是我的本钱，我痛快的玩过、疯过，疯狂青春，此生无憾！

对于人生的大道理，我只略懂。但是我对自己人生的意义，有一定的原则，我有自己一套的想法，可能不是人人都受用，接受与否，是要经过你自己的思想道路。

做你自己认为对的事，可能是错误的，可能会后悔的，但如果每一事都质疑，你就不用前进了……

Bonding camp ♥ COS

Went to bonding camp at Janda Baik again~ For HELP Community Outreach Service (COS).

The difference for this time, I was not the camper or participants or the one who played by the seniors anymore.

This year, I, as a senior, part of committee and organizer, grab the chance to play all my beloved and adorable juniors (which some are elder than me but I still can play them on my fingertips~!muahaha~)

They are cute indeed. Talented and respectful. Must can do much more better than us. I know you all can =)

Committee can also be adorable 

The 6th batch HELP COS

The whole group 5th x 6th

Lunch time, nice committee only eat after them =)

Yeah~!It was a big success! Good luck to you guys =)

Talking about my days, were not so good. Totally not enough sleep. For rushing procrastinated assignments and obviously cant sleep as a organizer in the camp. Fed up for everything. So I didn’t really have time to update my blog before or after the camp. Anyway, I think it was a good memory for the 6th batch, not excluded us, as part of it.

In a nutshell, I am totally require lots lots of sleep and rest for the energy and attention that I used over a week. Chiao and Nitez =)

Midnight thought

“The moment you know how cruel life is, the reality is not that hard to accept anymore.”  Actually I no need to quote it as it is originally written by me. Perhaps I need to credit myself.

I wrote this in my MSN personal message. Wanted to say that life is just like that, sometimes cruel, sometimes so real that we need to take or accept all the desirable or non-desirable facts. “Life is just a process.” Saw a video and this is the phrase.

I agree with it and know what this mean during my childhood. I experience it, more than what other people knows for now. I mature very early that you cant imagine that the problems about life, I have already figured out since I was 14-15 years old. It was not come naturally, all the thoughts. It came with experiences. I understand what is life about as I saw in and out of lives, considered all the closest people in my life. I never review about it doesn’t mean that I did not care. I do care when people asking about my father. I do jealous when people talk how good their father are. I do feel touch when I saw a father play happily with his children. I do feel abnormal since I live in an incomplete family for more than 8 years. Who knows mother do sad do cry when she was alone at home, missing her dead husband and far apart daughter and sons. I do understand it all.

Now I do feel to write about the essay question about the challenge being a psychology student is know too much and understand too much about human being. The saddest part was you know how the closest person felt, but you cant do a thing to help. Perhaps it is just learned helplessness.

As in now, helpless, struggling on assignment that will due soon. I will still act relax and smile and laugh to let others know I am strong and able to deal with my own problem. I am such a good actor and will do my best in front of the stage. But this is my back stage. This is the only places that I put down my character as an actor and BE MYSELF.

It’s just that all I wanted to say for tonight, this midnight perhaps. Smile as you can breath for today, at this moment, you’re not die yet.

Fact

Sometimes I cant just make up my mind on something. A decision. An opinion. 

I wish I could have my concentration, back to do things that I have to do.

Nothing much I wanted to say, I need courage, I need energy, I need time, to complete whatever written and highlighted in my schedule.

I know that I need to put more effort on doing something, even more than others, since I am not a genius nor lucky person. but somehow I am being stubborn on some kind of fair or unfair thinking.

Being forceful, something need to be done, THAT MUST BE DONE!

Cruel life, not matter how things to be done, imperfect or perfect, done before the deadline, IT’S RULE.

Not only you are the one who feel the disappointment, please put your legs in my shoes too. I will be the most disappointed person and saddest person in the world because IT’S MATTER ME.

No one is able to solve your problem, even a Psychologist only can HELP you to solve your problem. Help as in guidance, opinion, options. You solve your own problems.

I am so damn lack of time to do all things at the same time. Assignments, examination, meeting for ideas, camp… Crucial period, I know I will get through this. Persistence-heart-training-season.

*For friends who have troubles or problems as well, I suggest you to take a deep breath and hold on a strong believe that you can do it, with your bare hand or whatever along, sometimes troubles just happen to be solved =)