Midnight thought

“The moment you know how cruel life is, the reality is not that hard to accept anymore.”  Actually I no need to quote it as it is originally written by me. Perhaps I need to credit myself.

I wrote this in my MSN personal message. Wanted to say that life is just like that, sometimes cruel, sometimes so real that we need to take or accept all the desirable or non-desirable facts. “Life is just a process.” Saw a video and this is the phrase.

I agree with it and know what this mean during my childhood. I experience it, more than what other people knows for now. I mature very early that you cant imagine that the problems about life, I have already figured out since I was 14-15 years old. It was not come naturally, all the thoughts. It came with experiences. I understand what is life about as I saw in and out of lives, considered all the closest people in my life. I never review about it doesn’t mean that I did not care. I do care when people asking about my father. I do jealous when people talk how good their father are. I do feel touch when I saw a father play happily with his children. I do feel abnormal since I live in an incomplete family for more than 8 years. Who knows mother do sad do cry when she was alone at home, missing her dead husband and far apart daughter and sons. I do understand it all.

Now I do feel to write about the essay question about the challenge being a psychology student is know too much and understand too much about human being. The saddest part was you know how the closest person felt, but you cant do a thing to help. Perhaps it is just learned helplessness.

As in now, helpless, struggling on assignment that will due soon. I will still act relax and smile and laugh to let others know I am strong and able to deal with my own problem. I am such a good actor and will do my best in front of the stage. But this is my back stage. This is the only places that I put down my character as an actor and BE MYSELF.

It’s just that all I wanted to say for tonight, this midnight perhaps. Smile as you can breath for today, at this moment, you’re not die yet.