字 与 照

My days at Ipoh comes to an end when the Christmas bell stop ringing. I had a lovely week here although it’s short. Surprisingly, I was able to meet up with all my friends and have a chance to chat with them. Not in so depth, just a simple talk, perhaps we could feel the friendship still there.

作为一个开头，很喜欢用英文

或者喜欢 或习惯性

觉得不用华语来开头比较好

但是这重要吗？

就像在一场谈话中 每次都聊开了 像场争论

但这不是辩论 我不会争着要赢

赢 对我来说 也并不重要

我在乎素质 在乎那个意义

如果你觉得开心的话

做什么事，其实重要性只在于你自己爽不爽，开不开心~

回去了KL

看着人来人往的车站

不知人们的心情是如何

是不舍 还是期待？

对这

我已变得麻木

一个人坐在车站

等待 似乎已变成习惯

不抱着任何的心情

平淡的

静静的

可是还会期待下一次的归来

突然想起那天摸酒杯的时刻

很潇洒 很大人

因为能够坐在那 像大人般的聊起小孩子不再明白的事

再拿起酒 狠狠的喝下去

也不会像以前一样觉得酒难喝的样子

对 长大了

这也是长大的过程之一

---

很多时候 都听到不同朋友对我的看法

有时候会在乎 有时候会选择不去理睬

因为这就是我自己

你可以说我串 但是你不能抹杀我惯性想置身事外的权利

有时候 真的希望不用言语 就能达到共识

也许 你觉得你懂我

但是 人是复杂的

在背后 总有很多 你不知道的

我同意你 不代表什么

只是觉得有时候你说的 也是对的

但 我认同 每个人都有自己的故事

你可以继续你的

我也在活着我的…

Merry merry Christmas~

It’s Christmas’s eve yesterday and it’s the time for me to have gathering with my secondary schoolmates, which are also my dear longest-journey family. I hope we all have our precious time at this special day, special time, with special people.

♥总是喜欢在人群中找回自己

在你们中，找回最纯真的自己♥

对于今年的聚会，我其实没有什么想说的……

因为一些话在心里，只有你们才懂……

我开心的源头总是别人

所以只要看到你们开心，我就会笑了

觉得每一次都要抱着感恩的心态

因为每一次都是难得的

帮忙准备的

帮忙收拾的

帮忙吃的

所有出席的

都是难能可贵的

说着大家明年的去向，可能出席的人数又要减少了。又或者连自己也未必能够办得到，但我还是那句 我会尽量给大家一年一个gathering~就算只有少少的几个人，聚会还是会有的……

或许大家都是‘老夫老妻’了，就像Soong说的，有很多事情不必说出来，我们expect大家会懂的。我突然觉得有一首歌的歌词很适合 “人生几何，能够得到知己” 得到了你们，是我的福气，我一定会珍惜。不管隔多少的距离，只要大家有心，永远都不会迟的……

大家都是特别的

也祝我KL的朋友、COS的家人、还有看着这篇文章的你

圣诞节快乐 =)

Merry Christmas~

Thanks mum for doing so much things for me =)

Thanks Soong for her beautiful and special little Christmas tree ^^

Merry Christmas everyone~!!

U all rockz! ♥ u guys!

Photo can be fade away, but not our friendship =)

辩

精辨终于圆满结束……

这几天　都没有让自己好好休息过……

这是一味的忙忙忙……

忙到自己也觉得有点过火了……

是否真的要这么的对待自己？　我责问自己

每一次当自己最忙的时候 我都会这么问

要知道值不值得……

朋友说我是个‘理性鬼’……

有时候真的对于自己的过于理性感到辛苦

有时候想太多　顾虑太多

令到自己过于执着

所有东西都有好与坏的一面……

只是你站在那一个观点去看

就像是看了这么多场的辩论

正方与反方的立场 其实都能成立

但辩论的定义 与争议 是有待讨论的

我无法否认人生 其实就像是场辩论

每一天 我们都在和别人辩论 甚至于自己的矛与盾辩论着

就像辩论 输赢其实并不重要

赢的那方 只是有明确的论点 看起来合理所以赢了……

但是到头来 过程 才是我们需要真正去体会的……

---

说到看了这么多场的辩论

无可置疑 晋级的都是强手

区区中学生就有如斯的想法 我真的为社会感到欣慰

但当然以他们自己有一套想法为前提

而并不是单靠教练的指导

如果真的是如此的话 他们又肯为社会付出的话

我是觉得国家 甚至世界 真的有救了

但不谈国家 不谈政治

我只想说 这几天学到了不少东西

华语有急速进步了一些……=P

但相对的我知道自己也失去了某一些东西

可能在忙的时候忽略了别的朋友地感受

我只想说声对不起 我真的无法同时间顾虑到这么多东西

然而我发觉 当一个人成长时 看事情的层面会变得不同

处理方式也会一样随着更改了

学者去接受 随和 不想做无谓的争执与理论

有时候 过得去 开心 就好了

可能有时候结果真的很重要

但是对我来说 过程 是不可缺少的 =)

神圣·婚礼

I am not suppose to say how tired this wedding trip was. I am not suppose to say how rush we all were. I am not suppose to say how amazing the feeling it was during our 'private night car talk’ along the journey. I am not suppose to say some feeling just get into my heart that easily. There are many things I wanted to share with, for this two days lost to my lovely lecturer—Ms. Jasamine’s JB wedding.

Yeap it was firstly a crazy journey to go JB at 12midnight. And we reached Hui Kee’s house about 3something in the morning. 2 hours later get up at 6something, getting dressed, off to video shooting, and this is my all day long for this particular wedding.

But really feel grateful because this is my first time went to  a Christian’s wedding, which is very different from traditional Chinese wedding. The feelings brought to me at the Church was really amazing and unexplainable. I just hardly to express in words. Please allow me continue with Chinese…

---

真的觉得获益良多。对于这场婚礼，仓促、繁忙、劳累……但是这一切我都觉得很值得。 至少在感觉上，心灵上，很满足……也真的很感动……

第一次，全程拍摄一个完整的婚礼。

第一次，感受到那份爱可以真的那么的纯真。

第一次，看到那对坚定不移的眼神、紧握的双手，而感动。

当新郎签下婚姻协议书

当新郎当场作一首歌来表达对新娘的爱意

当新郎 与新娘 宣誓 要一起走到老时

当新郎紧紧握着新娘的手，把戒指套上的那一刻

我都觉得这一切都来得不容易

很神圣，并无法形容的感觉

真的要亲身站在现场，才能真正地感受到

我实在无法形容那已失去感觉……

但是真的很深刻

那压抑的激动

相信这就是世上的希望

对爱的希望

---

我是一个很难相信爱的人，对于爱，我觉得很虚幻，没有保障，更没有永恒。朋友说我太理性。可能吧。但是今天的这场婚礼真的有触动到自己感性的那面了。真的要掉下眼泪，就在新郎新娘宣誓的那一刻。我觉得很真，真的觉得有一份真爱其实是存在的……感觉真的可以有那么一对人，深深地爱着对方，肯为对方牺牲，包容对方的一切……一切都发生在那一刻……也真太不可思议了……因为真正地感受到那份悸动与喜悦……已超越一切……

我感受到了，也领略不少……

有时候，无声胜有声

只想祝福这一对新人幸福快乐……在你们的‘主’关怀下，能够一起走到生命的最后……

Speak my mind

Finally my second semester ended with Ms. Winnie’s terribly and unexpectedly hard paper. She hunted all of us down successfully. I guess she is smile or even laugh in her evil style at the back of us when she sees our nervous and desperate expression at the exam hall. Anyway, the exam finally comes to an end. It’s time to rock the days with movies,gathering and whatever entertainment. I even plug in my speaker and open it loud to enjoy the surround, what is more, to form a mini cinema for myself  

And my plan for the holiday is pretty full. Going JB for Ms. Jasamine’s wedding, HELP’s debate event, gathering for COS, and going to move things to new condo. After all the zapbalang things only can back my lovely hometown. Having Christmas party with my lovely friends and getting some rest at home for a couple of day (perhaps this is the only few days I could have during this sem break~!) 28th need to back immediately for PD camp and preparation for balik kampung. It is packed with all event this time. But I think I will quite enjoy, at least not wasting my time at home =D

---

There are many news and post at Facebook for past few weeks. The news at Facebook can spread extremely fast, and there are also many mindless ‘animals’ just like to follow the trend blindness. Yes I called them animal as they are just like copycat and I usually called this group of people mindless because they don’t even know how to make use the function of their brain. Pathetic. 

Well, there are another group of people could not stop the rumors and what they can do is make use their power. Brilliant and beautiful. What more I can say to describe them. Perhaps stopping Facebook is not a badly thing. Imagine there are another rumors or bad post at Bloggers, and some of them said block the download stream as well, then I might have no other place to go already.  Good then, can cut the streamyx and sleep at home everyday even save money! But what I am thinking is why they rather to block this block that which spread rumors, but didn’t block the porn site. Sarcastic.

I will definitely respect the decision made, or say it more clearly, we have no way to oppose, like they say must wear sit belt at the back as well and must stop the makan rasuah, but see what happened in the reality now? As a normal citizen, what I can do is just sit down and see what they will do next. There must be more interesting as the story go on. Stay Tuned.

生命

是了今天的主题就是生命

还是压抑不住自己来了这里抒发一下
相信有在Facebook的活跃分子
应该懂那位为爱情而轻生的年轻并“有点样子”的小伙子吧
他的名字我也不好说了
引起各界的热烈反应
这是普通Facebook的影响力

有的人支持；有的责骂……
有的觉得可怜；有的觉得他自己拿来的……
什么各色各样的comment都有

对于自己一贯不跟风的性格
我不愿在别人那里多作留言
但脑海里却出现了“人是如何看待生命？”这个问题
我之前就说过，‘思想’是现代年轻人缺乏的元素
如果一个稍微有想法
有真正去考量过‘生命’的真谛的人
是不会那么容易轻生的

我不会想谴责那位年轻人
虽然我会说他幼稚、缺乏思想
但是人都不在了
其实写那么多，去支持，去责骂
还有用吗？
更有人开fans page 给人去“like”
我想说如果死者是幼稚的，他们所做的更幼稚
但对于还在生却‘崇拜’这位‘对生命潇洒’的年轻人
请真的用一用你们的智慧去想一想
家人、朋友
看着你的尸体时会有什么样的表情

生命的价值真的因人而异
对一个杀手来说
只要你给的出一笔可观的价钱
生命算些什么？
但对于 我们这些普通人
我只想说‘生命’这虚幻的物体
看化尘埃，就让一切顺其自然的走过
如果你要自己去主宰
你有权自己去了断
但是现实的社会告诉我们
其实你没有资格去主宰
就算你不在了
你还是会被人评论
成为话题
然后事情会过去
你也会渐渐被人淡忘

事实就是如此
终究选择还是在你手上
但是作出了选择你还是会发觉‘人其实是没有选择的’
因为会有人告诉你‘你的选择是错的！’
然后你就会质疑你自己

很庆幸的
周遭的朋友都是有思想的
而且是positive thinking
虽然有带谴责的意思
但是他们令我觉得自己拥有乐观的态度
是被他们而影响的
当然家人以扮演一个重要的角色
如果没有好的家庭
不好的思想就会很容易侵袭
总之对于生命
我自己还是觉得是无价的
想一想‘蝼蚁亦尚且偷生’
我们是万物之灵的人类
启发思想吧

Life isn’t a thing, it can be more than that

Christmas around the corner

Woots~!!!Have change my playlist to Christmas song. Just want to let people to feel the atmosphere of ‘Christmas is near by!’ My Christmas mood will be ON soon~immediately after my final =D

I know that I was crazy with blog recently. haha~I just cant control myself to write something on Windows Live Writer =P totally in love with blog now no matter you say me was a bit over or sometimes just bullshitting on my blog. Anyway, this is my blog and I have my own rights to write whatever here (this is the best thing to blog!). And I want to thank Lala~who is always the one keep track on my blog and post comment here =D thanks really~ I know there are some my other friends who will see this. But I’m sure not everyone has such patient to read through every single words in detail. (who cares again?)

I blog my life. That’s all I wanted to say. Not purposely for who, but particularly for myself. This is where the passion is lighted up. I just enjoy what I am doing now. I don’t mind to share this to my friends if I get to know this might motivates them, let them to think or get to me closer. All post have its own meaning and what make this post special because this is written by me with my sudden thought, the thought might not be come again.

Anyway, merry Christmas in advanced. Will get back to KL later and fight for my final on Monday and Wednesday. I think there wouldn’t be long updates for next few weeks. Take care =)

Inspiration from movies

I have been stayed at home this two days, did not study but watching movies at home. Felt guilty of course but I just not in study mood   Talking about the movies, I was terribly in love with the brilliant movies which inspiring me a lot, (—”3 idiots” and “Eat, Pray, Love” ) two different kinds of movies, but give me different inspiration about life. It tells me something happened might not be happened in this way. Likewise, life is full with fate, but somehow, if we willing to make a change, it will change. “Live life more creatively”, this is what I get from the movie “3 idiots”. Something just doesn’t necessary to be like this, fixed or unchangeable, perhaps we must have a ‘think’ to make change, and that’s reason why we have Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg as well. Not because they are brilliant man or own an incredible IQ, they just willing to make change with their creative mind. Life doesn’t necessary to go with plan, as plan made by us, should be decided by us, and have the ability to change by us.

And I watched another movie this afternoon, spending a couple of hours to watch it seriously. “Eat, Pray, Love”, a movie cost me 3 hours. Fortunately I get something from it. It was another inspiring movie. I just love the way the female character lives for her life. Although not being lovely for half of her life before, but she finally realized there are something more important to be exposed but not just live like an ordinary citizen (educated, worked, married, and live happily forever after). Is that a real life for us? For Liz (the main female character), she doubted. Maybe everyone should have this process, get educated, get a job which is nice paid, get a good relationship, get married, compose a family, wait your life until the end, death. And many think that this should be “normal life”. And as we are “normal human”, we should be just accept the normal things, do the normal things.  I mean what kind of life should be that? I cant really accept it, perhaps give me a reason, cant me just be a bit extraordinary? as I believe everyone has own uniqueness.   

This movie also evokes my dream—to travel around the world and get to know other countries culture. It just a BIG idea that in my mind many years ago. To get more exposure, see around the world, is always my dream, maybe many other people’ dream. Isn’t it amazing if you get to know the language, the culture of a country, even get to know the story of a street girl or boy. Listen to their story and compare their life with yours. You will find how lucky you were to be in this world. And how much I wanted to collect all different kind of stories around any corner of the world and share with others. To let the world know or notice that, there are some people around somewhere are having some kind of problems, but they are still alive and never give up in life. Compared to what the citizens who live in prosperous with lots of luxuries. they will never know the feeling and appreciate what they own.

Life is still going on, like my blog title said, is MUST go on~

Maybe you will say I ‘m too much into the movies, it still written or create by someone, it not gonna work in real life, we must face the reality…..blablabla…. But who cares? Perhaps it brings some meaningful inspiration to me, to evoke something that in my mind. I believe I can do it in my future, to chase my dream, and that time, reality will tell. =)

 

 

 

 

Life is about sharing

I found that I have blogged too much recently…just too many things need to share out when I saw something, experience something or feel something. In fact, I am just too free to blog whenever I get back to home, and just feel ‘very in blog mood’ when I sit in such a comfortable living room. Being at home is always the best, when we grew older, when we stay further, we will know the nostalgic feeling for not being at home at ‘miss home badly’ moment. For sure, I wont have that feeling now.

So what I ‘m going to share with for today?

Well, I have added a ‘like’ button at my blog post, which is quite out-dated as I saw my friends already have it. But it just look ‘not bad’ if you have some Facebook gadgets in your blog (like the badge all that). Another out-dated things which most active bloggers might be using long time ago is Window Live Writer. Even I know it was a bit old and stay in my laptop for a very long period but I just ignore it, and now only I started using it. But I found it is really awesome because there are lots more options and easy to blog just like using Microsoft word. So bloggers(who don’t know this), and you are frequent updater(like me,), WLW would be highly recommended to you.

Artistically talking, I also started to discover more about Adobe Premier Pro as I need to do some video editing stuffs during my holiday. It is quite stressful as both videos also important, even one of it will be the weeding clips of my lecturer. I just want to do as perfect as I can~! Oh I realize that what I exposed recently were all related to ART!!! Maybe I’m just born to have an artist character, but sadly I was not talented enough   Anyhow, I still love doing artistic things and nothing going to break my heart on ART

a psycho who love art

Touch

又没有一首歌
能够影响你的心情？
如果有的话
那你也会明白我的心情

一直一直的　重复

听着一首歌……

一首能够打入自己内心的歌……

那旋律……

那声音……

就简简单单的……

进入了　内心的最深处

第一次听
就爱上了
也是第一次听
不知道是不是配合道心情
两行泪　不知觉的就这么流了下来

要用一首歌来打动我
其实是满容易的……
因为自己很容易被简单的旋律与声音　
吸引　然后感动

很感性的说

我喜欢用一首歌来述说自己的心情

那这首歌又没有述说到自己的心情？

我不知道

我只感受到一点莫名的感动
觉得人生短暂
自己是不是也应该找个人来爱了？
不用惊讶　也不必觉得我发娇什么的
我只是突然觉得　有时候
一个人的时候
也真的很需要一个人来陪
伤心时　有人来安慰
至少在你找不到朋友来述说时
那个人会发挥作用

以前总觉得　一个人　也可以过得很好

现在　也没觉得　有什么了

一个人　两个人　都好

一直都在寻找着

那个　能够感受到自己心跳的人

当你真正看的懂的时候

明白我的心情的时候

你就成功进入了

就像这首歌一样……

简单的唱入了我的心里……

♥Please dont let me go

I just wanna stay

Cant u feel my heartbeat?

Giving me away ♥

探

Again spending some time on blogs walking...
Is just like going to a person's door and explore what is it inside...
I enjoyed doing this of course...
Not like exploring or stalking about a person...
But to understand a person more in depth...
May a simple word bring something to u as well as the writer...
A sentence that may contain something...
A paragraph that may express some feelings...
U would never know a person until you really see what they post and what you understand from the post...
This would be the most interesting part....
As the bit and pieces, bring a huge and meaningful expression and emotion by a person
Amazing isn't it?

----------------------------------------------------------------
其实是
很喜欢看了别人的部落格
突然有感而发
想写一些东西 回复他们

p/s: 不想你们对号入座……
只是想发表自己的想法罢了……

曾几何时的自己 也天真地以为 能够找到了解自己的人……
但出到来社会……
工作过、现实过……
才懂得这一切并不容易……
并不是了解这么简单……
这包含了 信任 与那份没有包含任何添加素的真情……

我也以为很了解自己……
才发觉 要写出一个关于自己性格之类的……
有很多可以写……
但也写不出……
因为自己一直在变……
就算此时此刻我多么的了解我自己想要这么做……
但下一刻我不敢保证我会不会后悔……
所以我作的结论是 连我自己的不懂我自己……
其实要别人懂我，更难……
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
说到了解一个人……
有时候你会发觉当和别人相处久了……
你‘以为’你会很了解那个人……
有时候并不是的……
或许我这么说……
你并不懂有些事情对他来说是多么的重要……
而有些事对他来说 根本就是玩笑……
对我来说 很多时候我都可以以一些比较幽默的方式来带过……
一笑而过，并不是那么容易能够做到……
至少我的忍耐度比较强……
对于自己的某一些原则
真的会很认真地看待……
一旦原则被打破……
生气 是必然
但在生气的当时
脑袋一会不停的转
那两立的抗战又再出现……
想必 现实那方 又作出了胜利的表现……

能发泄出来时好事……
至于能不能改变事实……
其实对于这点　我还是觉得不要抱太大的希望会比较适合
就好象我说的‘我们好象很了解一个人，但是你其实也并不是很懂他’一样
至少被你说‘了解他’的那个人会觉得‘你凭什么觉得你很了解我？’
很多时候我们都很希望被了解……
希望别人知道我们想要什么
但是人是矛盾的
当你说了解他的时候，
他就会觉得被拆穿、被冒犯的感觉……
所以要理清这一点　
其实真正了解一个人，不需言语上的表现
细微的关心与沉默　表达的或许更多
－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－－
对我来说
要了解我
是个绝对艰难与复杂的的process……
因为‘被拆穿的感觉’会比‘希望被了解的感觉’来的重
不喜欢被看透……
但喜欢看透人
我变态
但我读的是psychology并不是psycho~

思

终于忙完了前阵子的考试……
这个礼拜属于娱乐活动……
再来就是回家准备另外一场战争……
战争后，又是一大堆的plan……
忙读书……
忙娱乐……
忙着玩……
忙着做一些自己想要做的东西……
我忙……
我会急躁……
但是忙自己喜欢的东西……
我可见得真的不是很介意……

很讨厌自己处在乐观与悲观的矛盾之间……
很希望自己不要那么的现实……
但是事实告诉我们……
人就是要现实的……
你不现实……
只会对自己残忍……
让自己活在那天真无邪的世界……
可能真的与世无争……
但是有谁又会那么甘心……
静静的活着而莫不出声？
但往往就是我们的‘不甘心’……
害到自己自己不开心……

每件事情在每个人心中的重量都不同……
我并不认为自己很会分……
但是至少我自己会衡量……
有时候也只能劝自己不要把事情看得那么的重……
就好象自己背着一颗石头一样……
也只是看你自己怎么去背……
才不会让自己觉得沉重……
如果觉得那颗石头不重要的话……
可以放下就放下吧……
但相反的，那对你很重要……
那你就要换个做法……

方法与态度真的很重要……
你可能会用错方法……
但是忽略了态度……
那意义在哪里？