26.7.16

這幾天回家 短短的幾天 卻發生了很多事
與家人的 說不清也理不清的心頭刺
儘管大家好像表面上沒有了事
我們都知道 那已成為大家心裡其中一條刺
有時候 就是你越想理清 越小心翼翼 也越說不出口
弱弱的只敢自己收在心裡
面對家人 總是有種無力感
想說 就這樣不理 反正也沒什麼回家 就沒事了
家 對我來說 也再也不是當年的避風港了
我總覺得 我無法改變甚麼 
所以 也只能這樣了…… 

隔了幾個月回家
這次沒有能與很多朋友見面
那種平淡 無從說起
但我也接受了
能見就見 對於朋友 不會再執著些甚麼
總是很珍惜 大家還可以聊天的那種感覺
無論甚麼事情 大家總可以聊
也因為大家聊起了大家的部落格時代
我看了朋友當年寫的那篇文章
他們的故事
也讓我想起我的

我想起了當年的我們
那種懵懂
那種青澀
那種刻骨
還有那種簡單

但是就像很多感情
總是有很多問題
很多情緒 
然後到最後結束
也說不清是甚麼原因
那就是分開了 還有很多很多後來還有現在要面對的總總
也寫過很多篇 關於我的不捨 不愉 痛苦 孤單 
總總負面 到正面 偶爾負面 又逼不得已正面的情緒
這些經歷 成就了現在的自己
看透很多 也放下了許多

我沒有再去執著誰對誰錯
因為感情的結束 從來都是兩個人或以上的問題
也覺得愛 從來都不容易
那些認為的簡單 從來都不簡單
那些認為的 愛就夠了 其實從來都不夠
因為我們總是會愛自己多一點
愛自己 沒有錯
就讓我在學習再愛之前
好好的再愛自己
珍惜與自己對話的每一個時刻
就像現在
晚安 :) 

17.7.16

Live your life the FULLEST

I always asking myself
"What kind of life that I wanted?"
"What kind of person that I wanted to be?"
-To live the life fully-
That's my answer.

Trying to let go a lot of useless thoughts and keep things SIMPLE
SIMPLICITY is the KEY
The key to live the fullest life
The key to happiness...

當你能視一切為浮雲
一切都是虛無縹緲、如幻泡影
好像有點"出家人"的感覺
但是那樣的思想
確確實實可以影響你的生活,你的人生

學習享受生活中的"小日常"、"小確幸"
生活的日常可以很枯燥,沒日沒夜的工作,你說甚麼享受生活都是屁話
但是難道生活真的枯燥到除了工作還是工作嗎?
有沒有哪天你放工了 可以去和朋友小聚餐一下
又或者自己一個人慢慢逛在街上 見到甚麼 想吃甚麼就吃甚麼?

放工了 回到家
打開冰箱 看見有甚麼就煮甚麼
然後再吃著那些枯燥的雞胸肉搭配著我喜愛的韓國綜藝節目
然後看看那堆積的衣服 覺得 是該洗洗了
那樣的日常
那樣的生活 給我一種很踏實的感覺
簡單 卻踏實
沒有人不想過好一點的生活
但是懂得珍惜這一切的簡單與日常
就是生命中的財富

或許 我們都很渺小
很平凡
很無趣
但是通過一些生活上正確的態度
無論你是誰
都可以活得很精采 很有價值

Today's quote:
"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted"

12.7.16

Mean

I think most of my friends can find I can be mean sometimes
Mean, by saying things that people like to hear
Mean, by ignoring and acting "I don't really care" or "none of my business"
Still, I'm finding a way.. To be a better listener, advisor and companion as a Friend..
At times, I just do not know how to react or respond or to fake that I'm into it or with you but I actually didn't
So I said this when you said "you do not know me" or "you don't understand my feeling"
"Of course I do not understand your feeling just like you will never understand mine"
Sorry to be frank, but we are all selfish human beings.

Nevertheless, I meant it.. "You never understand me"
Do you know I will still feel lonely sometimes?
Do you know I'm still having insomnia sometimes and cry at the middle of the night?
Do you know I will still look back all those sweet memories that I miss the most even I know how pain it is to me?
And you, do not know that I'm still there for you.. As always..
And at times I'm trying to be mean to push you away, so I will not be hurt again.
All these feelings, emotions, weakness.. I've never showed..
I'm a happy being, positive, energetic, and seldom complaint much in front of others...
It's just that I know the negativity has taken over our lives, and I don't want it to spread and make our lives even worst..
What I can do is to spread happiness and positivity around me..
At least, this is the little thing that I can do

But still, sorry to be mean at times
A superman can't be there 24-7 and just like me can't be positive all the time
But I wish I can be a better being :)

9.7.16

志同道合

很高興能夠在一個志工團體裡開始慢慢認識了一些新朋友
大家都是愛狗之人
隨著共同的話題延伸 到大家的工作與家庭
我發現 人與人之間的信任 可以慢慢從互動簡單的背景認識彼此
雖然年齡背景身分到工作 很多都不相同
但是大家都肯為這個團體付出時間與精神
這就是志工團的魅力吧
無論大家為了甚麼原因加入 只要抱著好的心態
給多些愛與關懷這個社會

至少世界也許不美好 但是我們卻可以讓它變得那麼一點點 不一樣” 

Today's quote:
"No one can do everything, but everyone can do something" 

7.7.16

"If I could live one more day in life" - continue...TO BE HAPPY

Ever since Facebook has this function "On this Day" to look back and refresh what I've posted on this particular day - years ago. 
I really look back on it - like literally everyday, to see how stupid I was and what I've done years ago, well that's was my growing up process.. Still, I'm growing and learning from the past. 
But other than Facebook, now that I'm back to blog, I always look at what I've blogged about too.

5 years ago, today, I posted a title "If you could live on more day in life"
I wrote that after I read a blog by a young girl who was suffering from cancer. 
I believe she has passed away since her blog has stopped updating..
I'm not too sure but I believe she did fought hard until the very last second of her life. 
And her story, did last..And able to encourage some of the people (at least me at that point of time) who is suffering from their daily lives. 

It's heartache to write this..
 Even I don't really know her, and I'm just a stranger. 
But I still remember how heartache I was to wrote about that post, that a young bright girl has gone through so much pain in her life, yet she is so encouraging, wise and thoughtful. 
Now that she's gone...
"What if I could live one more day in my life?"
My thought would be the same as 5 years ago - "appreciate the time that I have now. Doing things that I think I should do, and things that I like to do, as there is no tomorrow for me"
Now that I would add on "DO WHAT I SHOULD AND BE HAPPY."
BE HAPPY is the key, and my goal in life. 
It sounds simple yet it's so hard to achieve. 
When we will never satisfy for what we are having now.
I just hope that I'm able to remind myself "To stay SIMPLE"
Try not to compare, for everything that others have but you don't. 
Try not to jealous, for everything that others have achieved but you don't.
Try not to hate, and always remember and prepare to forgive, to anyone who has hurt you or trying to hurt you. 
Always be loving and spread the love, that's how I can contribute to this world :)



3.7.16

知音

是不是要真正經歷過那些失去與痛苦
才能寫出 細膩 又耐人尋味的故事
那些文字中的共鳴
還有帶著無數的遺憾
都完整地呈現在故事裡
我深深地感覺到
那些文字中 淡淡的遺憾 還有微微的刺痛
又或許 很多故事都是"純屬虛構"
但有些經歷與感觸 卻那麼的像似
不一樣的個體
卻有著一種連結
那種像似的連結
你寫的 是我想說的
你寫的 也許我也經歷過的

我不知道這種寫作靈感 或感覺 會維持多久
也或許最近看太多書籍
一直有好多話想說
有好多感覺與想法 想寫出來
像以前一樣
不同的是
以前寫的是心情
現在寫的是想法

我想 或長或短
我都會一直一直地寫下去
有沒有觀眾
都不重要
若干年後 我將會是這一切的觀眾 :)

1.7.16

"消失"

在這個資訊發達的時代
誰要知道誰的近況 只要看一下社交媒體的newsfeed或者update就可以知道了
有多少個人不是都從大家的update得知 誰戀愛了 分手了 emo了
開心不開心都寫在"臉(書)上"
多少的真實 多少的偽裝 只有自己知道

現在要紅很簡單
只要夠'特別' 夠'搞怪' 夠'出眾'
無論你是誰(不限制人事物/動物)
只要一人一讚 一人一分享
就'紅'了

那麼要消失也很簡單
只要不update不po文不comment
或者乾脆一點 取消了所有社交媒體的帳號
已讀不回 退出群組
你就已經消失在大部分人的生活中

更甚至把電話丟了
基本上  除非那個人知道你住在哪裡
然後找到你
要不然 你要搞失蹤
是多麼簡單的事

我其實不喜歡消失
我知道低調固然是好
但是如果不update
朋友們又怎麼知道你的近況?
就好像你不說我根本不可能知道你在想甚麼
也許'根本沒有人在乎'
或那只是一個敷衍的 '讚'
但是我並不是甚麼都安讚的人
我讚了 我看了 我喜歡 我認同 我不排斥
所以update吧
有時縱然會成為誰誰誰的話題
那又怎樣呢?
你有值得談論的價值 證明你還重要
Always update, always online :)