4.4.11

There were something inside,where we just always keep in the heart.

I have end up with no one to turn to, and here I come to blog.

Fed up with life recently as many of my electronic devises were all spoiled at the same time. Yes. AT THE SAME TIME! Which cost me lots of time, energy and the most important thing—MONEY to solve all these problem. I would say I will need to pay some responsibilities on it since these things were all mine. But please don’t blame me, like I wanted this things to be broken. BLAME SOLELY ON ME. IT IS UNFAIR! I was the person who own all these things, I was the person who hurt the most when all these bad things happen to me, I was the person who deserve a little bit of care when all the bad things happened to me.

But who knows? The feeling always hiding behind. And there is no one can look at it. Perhaps I am the one who hiding it. I would say it is all my bad. There is no perfection in life if you realize.

只是想发泄一下那样的心情。觉得叹几十次气也不够,内心不会好过一点,还是觉得很辛苦。沮丧,倒霉,无助,似乎都一瞬间出现在眼前。是有点不解,为什么就是要同时间,就好像所有不愉快的事接二连三地发生。也没有到很难过,或很大件事,毕竟是钱的问题,需要一点时间就能解决。失望的是没有人曾理解或体会自己的感受。就好像在写这这篇文章。我的意义是发泄,看的人的意义却有很多种。


Above paragraphs were what I wrote few days ago when I was so down. See, this is what a mad person can write, how the negative things go about and influence the thinking of a person. But I am still a rational person which I have think not to post it out immediately after I wrote it. I JUST DON’T WANT THINGS TO BE SO BIG THAT INFLUENCE MYSELF, OR MORE, INFLUENCE THE OTHERS. I don’t think it was a good idea that to write something that is unhappy, which will make the people think you were  are a negative person.  But yes finally I posted it out indeed. With strikethrough on it, means I just want to express this feeling out but you can ignore it, if it bother you, or your feeling.

Like what I wanted to emphasize in my title, "There were always something inside, but we just always keep in our heart”. Don’t you agree with it? Since so many bloggers now, having an open blog, don’t you agree what we want to express out or post out, was chasing or demanding some agreement for our life opinion? If there were something hidden inside, means there was no need agreement, likewise, I don’t need any agreement for above paragraph. Perhaps I need some feedback about the title itself, the statement.

In fact, we are always demanding and searching agreement in life. Certain kind of conformity instead, we are looking for. What was it? Ask yourself. Mine one was a clear cut. Tell you my opinion, my way to live my life, whether you accept or not, I will too accept yours too, but please respect me first, then we stay in peace and live happily forever after.

How about something we did not express it out? Or talks about? We did not need any agreement on it? At all? Yes, I would say in a certain extend. We sometimes do need some space or what the society called “PRIVACY” in life. The “PRIVACY” thing, no need any agreement or opinion, we just live with it, knowing or not knowing, Best maybe REMAIN-ed UNKNOWN, or what I called it “MYSTERY” was quite interesting to play around too. But tell you something VERY INTERESTING, there were many time, we wanted people to know it, but not directly telling or knowing from our mouth, we just want people to realize themselves, like everyone need to be ‘your worm in your intestines’ (direct translation from Cantonese please), but please, we are not a ‘worm’ truly, we are just normal human being. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THIS STATEMENT, I ACTUALLY CAN GET A LOT OF AGREEMENT.

But I do wanted to find someone which is cleaver enough, at least know to read my facial expression. What I mean, in life, we can never get what other people wanted from us, but we should know what we want, and put it into action to make it. If you understand what you want, you stated it, you say whatever loud to the world, it is still useless, as you never put it into action and make a change. This is what I wanted from people, be cleaver, make something to change for yourself, but not for me. Choices is always in your hand, if you wanted to make a change.

Note: I was not demand any agreement or comment for this post. Perhaps a ‘like’ can motivate me to write more about something like this~Long and bored. =P

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