Depressed & Lost

The first day of 2nd semester...
I felt so bad...
From the first psychology class I attended...
to the next tourism class,
follow by advanced English
and lastly Critical Thinking Skills.....
What I want to say is.....
I'm getting lost from the 1st class to the last class....
sitting there and just listened to what the lecturer said...
without any notes and textbook....
suffered....

I hope that it was just because it was the 1st day...
or maybe I haven get the textbook...
so I cant get in the topic yet....
or maybe I have too long holidays already...
cant adopt so fast with the rushing timetable....
Are this all the best reason??
I dont know...
and maybe dont wan to know...

Cant do anything without the textbook...
no revision no reference...
nothing to read for preparing before classes also....
Maybe I should get the textbooks as soon as possible...

Many things still have to settle...
Why there have a instruction in MAYBANK
that a person not enough 18 year old cannot take >RM500 out????
damn it~
how I'm going to pay for the fees??
and the few hundred bucks of books??
somemore the rental.....
GOSH!!!!

The feeling of my 1st day stayed alone at KL have return...
The fear of living alone...
The depression of losing in study...
I know no one can help but myself....
try to be better although not the best...