Mean

I think most of my friends can find I can be mean sometimes
Mean, by saying things that people like to hear
Mean, by ignoring and acting "I don't really care" or "none of my business"
Still, I'm finding a way.. To be a better listener, advisor and companion as a Friend..
At times, I just do not know how to react or respond or to fake that I'm into it or with you but I actually didn't
So I said this when you said "you do not know me" or "you don't understand my feeling"
"Of course I do not understand your feeling just like you will never understand mine"
Sorry to be frank, but we are all selfish human beings.

Nevertheless, I meant it.. "You never understand me"
Do you know I will still feel lonely sometimes?
Do you know I'm still having insomnia sometimes and cry at the middle of the night?
Do you know I will still look back all those sweet memories that I miss the most even I know how pain it is to me?
And you, do not know that I'm still there for you.. As always..
And at times I'm trying to be mean to push you away, so I will not be hurt again.
All these feelings, emotions, weakness.. I've never showed..
I'm a happy being, positive, energetic, and seldom complaint much in front of others...
It's just that I know the negativity has taken over our lives, and I don't want it to spread and make our lives even worst..
What I can do is to spread happiness and positivity around me..
At least, this is the little thing that I can do

But still, sorry to be mean at times
A superman can't be there 24-7 and just like me can't be positive all the time
But I wish I can be a better being :)