Simple CNY 2011

I was in holiday mood few days ago. Still, not so in CNY mood. Maybe back too early before the real day comes. Being stayed at home for two days and having some so called small family gathering at home. Not so much talk, but there were feel of warm while eating at round table, gambling and joking around. It’s still the best family for me, not that perfect, but it’s just my special little family =)

家 永远都有形容不了的温馨

家人 永远都无可替代

在外久了 才发觉 能每天吃到妈妈煮的菜

原来是可以那么幸福的事

越长大了 越觉得其实某些事 某些节日

可能是特别的 但是心里却觉得没什么大不了

很普通 很简单的 也可以渡过

但是就可能是 那种平凡 与简单

使这一切变得特别 没有什么原因

这是一种心灵上的感觉

我就是喜欢这独一无二的平凡

“We don’t quote things that we are not fully understand.”

Watching back the date and time of my post, I always write my blog during midnight. It’s just that there are so many feeling and things to share about especially on this sleepiness, loneness, and ‘emotion-ess’ moment. Just feel to share some of my feelings.

I have already back home for three days and I felt no much CNY mood here, despite I meet some of my friends on the mahjong table. The worst thing come to me after I back was I fall sick. Flu, sore throat, cough, all come to me and there are many new year biscuits at home, but sadly I cant even touch them under my mum’s eyes. It is one of the sad case. Another one happened to my dog, which was living with us for almost 10 years, fall sick as well, and mum said “she looks like going to leave us soon.” I just cant imagine she gonna leave us, but frankly I was not a good pet master. I don’t know what else I could do for her. In sometimes I just realize we are that hopeless. Pray that the veterinarian would not give any bad news tomorrow.

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Have no idea how to start on my assignment about the movie review.The question on how to start about is funny. As I have some rough idea but I just don’t get what lecturer wants from this assignment. Personal view is always available but it’s still an assignment related to psychology and I was thinking the way to write a movie review psychologically. And I always like to present idea in my own way, whether it can be accepted by others or not. In fact, I care what others think about and I do take the comment into consideration and take deep thinking.

Talking about the title above. It was one of the phrase from the movie that I have to review—Muallaf. It is a local movie made by Yasmin Ahmad, who is already death due to stroke(if the information that I Google-ed is correct). A local movie which impressed me, made a great success at International stage as well. Yes, sometimes we like to do things that are special, try to confuse others and hope no other people in the world would understand except you. But for me, I loves the phrase above because I think it is interesting and I hope to get something different from it. And for many things I was trying to understand, which after I understood, I will try to share with others. This is what the power of blogging comes from. I would like to add something to this quote, which is “Don’t ever try so hard to understand something and don’t pretend that you are understand, because sometimes it is not so difficult to get something but in fact you don’t get it means YOU DON’T GET IT NOW”. Perhaps we might figure it out later when we grow older, this is what I believe.

Likewise I am posting a blog post right here with plain words and maybe bored to others, tested some real readers who are really interested to read and trying to understand me (which I think very few will do). I just like to present in my own way, blog whatever I like, as this is a little world own by me (you may say ot’s belongs to blogger but this all this words will remain my copyrights). 

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It’s 3.20am now. There are still too much in my mind. I know I should rest so I can recover faster, but I just cant help it.  I am being stubborn, on what I am doing.

Just want to tell someone,

“I am not a baby sister anymore, should be able to think not only for myself but the family. I know the burden that you bear. It’s time for me to realize that. =)

With a little too much

Not sure why am I putting this title. Just felt to. My day is just too little but sometimes too much for something. Isn’t that we always do that? Spend too much time on useless things but spend only a little bit time on something which take time. Human being. A little too much to understand. I don’t like to take responsible on something that I cant do. But if I were involving in something, I will try all my best to do it and do it as perfect as it could be. This is why I don’t understand people who want so much to get into something, but do not want to do it properly or even sometimes give me a “I-am-not-responsible-to-this” or “There-must-be-someone-will-do-it” look~ I seriously don’t like people who take everything granted. “Too much” for me, I think even “too much” for the people who work with you. Too much irresponsible, too much fake, too much bad words can come from my mouth.

Alright, finish my grumbling. Get back to something pleasant me. Will go back to Ipoh on Thursday. Yes it’s this Thursday~! Seriously I love everything about this CNY season. The smile on people, the new clothes on people, the ang pau, the biscuits, even the song. Hope to get back as soon as possible, I just miss home so much~!

Oh there is a reminder for me in my blog. A reminder for our 5S1 commitment after five years. Isn’t the date is so nice? 1010~ Guys meet you all soon ^^

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一点一滴，这些累积就是生活……

♥ 平水相逢的总是太多，知心的总是太少。

♥ 当我们成长到一定的年纪，看的东西越多，越觉得有些东西不算什么

♥ 看在角度的份上，我尝试去原谅别人。

♥ 当沉默时，总是想很多，但大多数都可能在发呆。

♥ 其实伪装真的很辛苦，不如放下面具，做回自己。

♥ 学会坦然，要知道这世界不会因为你的不开心而停止转动。

~~jill~~

A moment for myself

Chinese New Year is coming. Have spend a lot during these few days, I am going to be very broken for the month. But really have fun to spend time with friends. Satisfy myself with shopping,sing k and watching movies. Outing never stop and yes I am enjoyed every moment that I had with my friends.

But there are sometimes, I need some private moment for myself.

A moment to speak with my own self.

So here I am.

Thinking to change myself. To be more control when speaking, trying to be silent and listen when people is talking. And not much people can accept the way we joking. I understand but there were some time I just joke and think to have fun. But sometimes I knew it was hurt. How could I control myself for being not that hurtful? Try to keep silent was one of my tactic. However, there were also people said that was not me and scare there was something wrong with me. So I guess, why don’t I just keep to being myself? Talk whenever I want to talk and just speak my mind. Anyway, it was not a good way to be friend with people. People is so selfish that THEY JUST LIVE IN THEIR WORLD. I jealous the people who can really SPEAK and do WHATEVER THEY WANT TO DO. In fact, I think they are cool, as I cannot be one of them.

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有些情节

真的很贴近自己

感觉如果发生在自己身上那会怎样？

因为会思考

所以感动

有时候 就有那么一首歌 那么一部电影

能够让人感动

就是因为值得让人思考

因为贴近人的心灵

人前 总喜欢嘻嘻哈哈就过去

人后 有谁会懂 属于自己的过去

有时候不是找不到想倾诉的人

而是自己不愿意去打开心房

要保持神秘 却克制不住去透露

就是喜欢保留一些隐私

那不是现代人说“没有人了解我”的时候吗？

是的

并没有一个人能真正了解另一个人

因为我们都不肯赤裸裸地、毫无保留的把自己交给别人

去勇敢的信任一个人

没有任何完美的

可挑剔是人的毛病

若不能 就放任 吧

Hard earn money

Through friends, I received a job on doing business assignment which is being rejected by business student and even said it is terribly hard. As a psychology student, I thought it was easy, but in fact it wasn’t. I regret. Till the time I turn it down. I think I am just over-estimate myself in doing things that I have not do before, and even not belongs to me.

What I was saying is I am just not a business student, and luckily I did not take business or business psychology. To do things that I do not like is suffered. I would like to work towards the money, but somehow the inner side will keep on argue that “is that worth to?” or “why am I doing things that I does not like?”.

But that is life and it is always true that we have to do things that we do not like and still we have to learn to survive in this reality. Somehow there are always choices to make my stands shaking. And this is true that when I come across choices, I will doubt and can’t really make a decision, in case I forced to make one. I hate myself suffering in dilemma, to do or not to do, to earn or not to earn. Of course we will always think on a positive side. In fact, making a decision to give up on something you are working on was not easy. Imagine I have spend so much time on it and even force myself to read something that I am not suppose to read. Fed up. Just screw the business assignment. Screw the Singapore institute. Screw the Rm100!

I was always wonder why there were people willing to do something that they do not like. Now I get to know some of the reason. Life made us to do it. I would do something that I like if I have enough of money. I would spend my time to do something benefit to the society if I have enough of time. If only if. If there is really ‘'if’’ exist in reality, there would not be so much troubles and problems happened in life.

But with the existence of ‘if’, we learned. Learned from the past, practice your present, to prepare for your future.

为关心你的人而写的

部落格

有时候不是为了谁而写

而是有时候 写给关心你的人看

我觉得没什么

不是义务的

而是觉得想写 就写

依着自己的心情 感觉去走

这就是属于自己的部落格 至少这是我自己的

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而这篇是写给一位老朋友

也不是很老 而是认识也有一段时间

算知心的 聊得来的

知道她即将要出国了

带着不舍的心情 也要恭喜她 祝福她

毕业了两年

常联络 常出街的 来来去去都是那几个

她算是其中一个吧

总是觉得庆幸能够认识到她

虽然有时候会很情绪化 整天叫我心灵上辅导她  XD

不过 这种方式的交流 很特别

大家虽然有不一样的生活了 不一样的朋友了

但是 因为拥有一样的回忆

大家又聚在一起

这就是缘分吧

我愿与她分享 她也算是满了解我的朋友之一

*希望你会暗爽 因为不是每一个朋友都有机会了解我 哈哈 =P

其实也不懂想写什么

只是想你知道 你会懂的 朋友 =)

不管以后距离会有多远

不要忘记 这里 还有我 还有一班可爱的朋友 以及姐妹们

珍惜剩余在这里的时间

陪陪你的家人 得空就找找我们

"Somehow I know we'll meet again. Not sure quite where and I don't know just when. You're in my heart, so until then it's time for saying goodbye."
- Muppets -

 

--jill--

人间蒸发

Being missing on the internet for more than two week. I cant believe that I could live through without internet for such a long period. NO MSN no Facebook, I just feel I was outdated for every minute I wasting my time walk around the house and do nothing. The new semester is just begin and truly I have nothing to do without any textbook or notes. This is my final semester for first year. Easy time will be passed through and hard time will be coming.

And now I am spending my time at OLD TOWN inside the SS2 Mall just beside Ken 3. The best thing to live here is can get yamcha place very easily. I just hope SS2 Mall can develop faster which have even more place to shop, perhaps cinema and redbox can be considered to open here so I can have entertainment very very easily~!!!hahahaha… Maybe I just think too much now…=P

Talking about my new semester. Normally for the first week is a confuse and blur week. For sure, we have to make a hard decision on which elective to take for this semester. I chose Introduction to Design. Frankly, I’m not really into it or like it, and there are no other elective that I like as well. But there have many reason to make me have this decision. It is CHEAP. Would it be my main reason? I don’t know. Perhaps the timetable is still ok and not as sucks as the business subject. No exam but just plain assignment and presentation. Friends said easy to grab an A. And yes they get an A, and my result for last semester is just come out today where all of us thought it will be tomorrow. Surprising me the result, I can get a B from Ms. Winnie. Hurray =)  But I cant maintain my CGPA to 3.0 because of the Sociology =( Anyway, I will try my best to get an A for the intro to design this semester. Of course to all my other subjects as well ^^

Oh ya, having a steamboat time with my COS family yesterday. CHeers guys~ We will go back to Junjong again coming May or June =) 

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没有上网，感觉上就好象与世界脱离了很久这样……与世界连不上什么。没有在网上的世界，我什么都不知道。但至少有活动塞时间，显得没那么无聊，还可以说，我是忙的，忙得没时间上网。其实是忙的。要筹备活动，一大堆等着我。加入了团体，这就是注定要适应的事，而且学到的也有一定的用处。

无可否认，在这段期间，我可能忽略了某些事、某些人、某些需要我去关注，而我却没有去理睬的……对不起，我只能说。我不会分身术。我很希望自己能够把24小时都用在家人与朋友身上。很希望有人想到我、需要我的时候，我能够立刻出现在他们的眼前。可惜我不是超人，是个普通不过的凡人，我也希望能够自私的期望自己需要帮忙时，有那么一个人去分担。

对于自己的忙碌，我只觉得会有一定的收获。不是在于金钱上，而是心灵上的。满足感，是在工作后得到金钱不一定得到的。我很喜欢这种满足感。但生活与现实，还是觉得金钱还是很重要。工作还是要做，课业还是要顾。只能继续寻找那个属于自己的平衡点。

20岁，应该做些20岁应该做的与尝试未做过的……

归

Finally came back from Junjong,Kedah. Our mission again complete. Not perfect enough yet we have try to do our best. Really wanted to thanks everyone who have given support and helped a lot during these few days.

这次虽然这是回乡区区4天，办了活动两天。但是我已觉得身心疲惫。总觉得自己慢慢的老了。身体都有点支撑不住。却还是要继续的扮到很有活力，很尽力充沛。因为我觉得我需要扮演这个角色，就像一直打不死的蟑螂，不停的往前冲，希望能把活力与快乐带给别人。目的就是如此简单、单纯。

忙碌是值得的。我在忙碌中学习。在生活中吸取经验，成长。我觉得这样的生命很无悔。至少我疯过，我曾有过如此的岁月。别人有的，我可能没有。但是我有的，我觉得已经够了。

有时候是总是那么的不完美，看开了，你就会发觉，其实也没有什么大不了。只要你认为美，没有什么是不完美的。没有什么好挑剔，我只能说我的乐观已超出别人的想像范围。我学着去接受一切，别人认为的美与不美。

对于新家，本身是觉得自己会糟蹋屋主的房子。因为实在太美了。也忙了半天去整理。虽然还有很多事情需要解决，也有很多事等着我去解决。既然这么多，也一时间解决不来，就慢慢来吧，比较快 =)

这次回去出息的人数有点少了，但是也感谢部分忠实的aunty和小朋友们！

我可爱的家人们 =)

可爱的组员们~

♥ 在义家，和我可爱的义弟义妹们♥

珍惜与感恩 这每一刻  ♥